Light Up The Night | One-Shots | Discontinued

Hole in my Heart ~ Wade x Molly

I miss her.

She's been gone for a month. Her stuff is still here, but I can't bear to get rid of it. It's a constant reminder of what I lost. When the bois visited a few weeks ago, they asked why I still had it if it just made me more depressed. I couldn't give them an answer right then.

My fans have extended concern and comfort to me online because they can see I'm suffering. I don't upload as often, and my mood has suffered too on top of that.

Keeters and the puppies have been a lot more cuddly lately. It's bittersweet. It's her fault we had any pets, but I still keep them.

I play with my wedding ring. The ring is a reminder of what we were. I don't want to take it off.

"Wade," Pat says suddenly, "you okay, buddy?"

Yes, the bois are visiting again. It was Jp's idea.

I sigh. "I guess."

"You're thinking about her again, aren't you?"

I nod in defeat. She's left a hole in my heart that can't be filled. I'm left aching because of it.

Pat puts his arm around me. "It'll be okay, Wade. You still have me and the others, we'll always be here."

"It's just difficult."

"Let's go play a game, okay? Get your mind off of it."

"Okay."

Later on, when I have a moment to myself, I retreat to my bedroom. I sit cross-legged on the bed and grab a picture from off my nightstand. I hold it as I let the tears roll down my face freely. The picture is of me and Molly on our wedding day less than a year ago.

Her death came so suddenly. She was alive and healthy, and then the next thing I know, there's a bullet in her heart and she dies in my arms.

I start shaking with sobs as I remember her death, the blood that stained my clothes, the funeral that followed a week later. My vision is blurry with tears, but I can hear the running footsteps. Suddenly, three pairs of arms are around me in a big group hug. The bois hug me tightly as I continue sobbing.

Eventually, I recover and look at their faces to see tears on them. I have been too selfish and broken to notice their suffering. They lost a friend, I lost my wife. I'm about to say something about it when Gar says, "I'm happy we can at least be together."

"Even if we're broken," Jp adds, "we can get through this together."

Pat takes the picture still in my hands and puts it back. "Let's focus on the positive and not the negative, okay?"

I smile. "I love you guys. I'm glad the Internet and video games brought us together."

"Even if my parents thought it was weird when I first told them I was talking to older guys online," Jp says with a chuckle.

I genuinely laugh for the first time since Molly's death. The hole in my heart may not be filled ever again, but I'll be okay, I still have my friends and family. I can recover.

•°•°•°•°•°•

Stuck drowning in tears
Unable to stop them
Gasping for breath
Unable to find it

She left me empty
A hole in my heart
Never filled
Always there

My friends are silent
Their tears are invisible
They try to comfort me
But they're drowning too

I'm left aching
My pain coming out
Shot in the heart
Slowly recovering

I'll be okay
I have my friends
They're hurting too
But we can endure

~~~~~

A/N

I hope the poem was a nice little add-on, wanted to try this as both a one shot and a poem :P

~ Kat