An Idol's Life. - A Bangtan Crackfic.

fire drill.

"last week, on a wednesday, i held a conference about fire safety."

seokjin looked outside the windows of the interviewing room to glare at his fellow colleagues for a few moments before looking back at the cameras.

"as always, nobody payed any attention to what i was saying. hoseok was doing his goddamn crossword puzzles like always, jimin, jungkook, and namjoon were asleep, taehyung and areum were flirting with each other, while yoongi sat unbothered. he was just.. staring like his soul left his body."

"what program did i use for the presentation i did? oh, google slides." seokjin says; no expression included in his response.

"google slides is boring. at least it's better than powerpoint. but," seokjin lites up a cigarette, (i'm not saying that jin smokes, because he doesn't smoke.)

"today, smoke will save lives. and i will live by those exact words." he added before throwing the lit stick into a garbage can that was full of paper.

"i'm going to see if anyone listened to what i said at the conference."

*****

areum looks up from her desk from writing down a few ideas for a new title track for a secret album she was working on.

her eyes immediately trailed to the workspaces' storage closet, to see smoke emitting from the crack at the bottom of the door. the cameras follow her eye movements, and zoom in on the smoke.

"oh my gOD-" areum sprung up from her leather chair, and points a shaky finger towards the direction of the smoke.

a few of the members looked to where she was pointing at.

said few members immediately went into panic! mode. (hehehe panic! at the disco~)

their boss, bang shi-hyuk, and the regional manager, sejin both walked out of their joint offices to see the commotion.

"oh my god, okAY, it's happening! everyone stay calm—"

the people of the office waddled and stumbled around the area, looking for any doors that were unlocked so that they could escape the room that was slowly filling up with the smell and sight of smoke.

"okay everyone, what was the procedure?—"

"EVERYONE STAY FUCKING CALM!"

"EVERYONE, NOW FUCKING CALM DOWN NOW!"

sejin's voice was booming like a megaphone as he exclaimed for everyone to calm down, even though he wasn't calm himself.

seokjin looked at his boss, and blinked for a few times before smiling evilly.

"they really don't know how to handle themselves in a fire drill.." seokjin thought.

"wait, wait, wait," seokjin repeated. he walked towards sejin, who was currently dashing towards the workspaces' main entrance.

"sejin! no, no! don't say things like that! touch the handle carefully, if it's hot, there could be a fire in the hallway."

sejin touches the black metal handle, and looks at seokjin.

"what does 'warm handle' mean? because, it's a warm handle!" sejin asked the handsome man.

"that's what she said!" a faint voice; which turned out to be namjoon's, said. the cute dimpled man was currently in pd-nim's office, throwing a chair at one of the windows so he can break the window and hop out, and hopefully, land in a garbage bin, or a tree.

everyone behind sejin who were staring intensely at the handle and sejin, groaned and scattered away like cockroaches.

jimin dashed into the lounge, and threw a chair at one of the vending machines, and breaking the glass pane in the process. he then rushes to the vending machine to grab any snacks he could get in his small, chubby hands.

areum and yoongi ran to the kitchen and bathroom area of the area, and tried to take the back entrance.

yoongi touched the handle, before pulling away immediately as he burned his own hand on the handle from how hot the handle was.

"this one's hot!" yoongi exclaimed; as areum let out a small yelp and dashed to the other side of the space.

jungkook and taehyung were currently using the office's copy machine, and rammed the machine into the front entrance, hoping to break the door down so that they could escape.

the camera's pan over to namjoon, who successfully broke the window's glass pane down, before telling out in desperation.

"HELP! WERE GONNA DIE!" the man yelled, before letting out a "YAHHHHHH-" as he tripped over something that was near the ledge of the windowsill, and fell down into a packed garbage bin full of boxes and blankets.

seokjin on the other hand; watched carefully at his co-workers, before standing on areum's leather chair, and blowing an air horn to get everyone's attention.

"attention everyone! idols and managers of bighit corporate!" seokjin announced.

"this has been only a simulated test of emergency preparedness. there isn't a fire. i repeat, it was only a simulation."

yoongi stormed up to seokjin, and kicked the chair under him, causing the man to fall down on his face.

"what the fuck, seokjin! what type of person would simulate a goddamn fire?!" yoongi bellowed.

jackson; who went into the ceiling and hid there for a while before he broke the ceiling and jumped down into the situation.

"so what have we learned?" seokjin groaned and looked up as he rubbed the bridge of his nose to soothe the pain.

hoseok, who was currently holding onto a corner of one of the work desks, collapsed onto the ground from shock.

"oh god! hoseok's gonna die!" jungkook exclaimed.

"n-no, he's not going to die, jungkookie. he was simply attacked by his own shock. i'm sure he'll be just fine after a couple days in the hospital." seokjin reassured as he looked down on jungkook and the collapsed sunshine man.

*****

"do you think that what you did today was educational, seokjin?" pd-nim asked the man, who was currently covered in a few smudges of ash and smelled like smoke.

"sir, i think that this whole situation has taught something to everyone about fire safety and preparedness." seokjin retorted.

pd-nim flicked seokjin's forehead with his chubby fingers, before yoongi walked up to the two, and pinched seokjin's arm.

"yah, you call that a lesson in fire safety? you could've gotten us killed, you dimwit." yoongi snarled, before glancing at the two fire trucks that were in the property of the corporation, who were currently putting out the small fire that seokjin started.

"you're lucky that sejin and pd-nim aren't suing you. if they were, the rest of bangtan and areum aren't going to back you up." yoongi added, before walking off to meet with areum, namjoon (who only left the garbage can with a few minor injuries), and hoseok.

*****

"i told you that smoke would save our lives." seokjin says.

"no it didn't! you're pay is being reduced to only 350,000 dollars now!" pd-nim yelled.

seokjin sighs, and looks at the camera.

"yay fire safety." he deadpanned.

*****

oof

so hi

i literally came up with this idea after nicole (jeonieboi) said to write my ideas down for this book, and this little snippet of the many ideas just popped into my mind lol

so, yeah.

that was a wild chapter.

remember to vote, and enjoy reading everyone!