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Dolls crying

Life is a fucking beauty contest.
All we think of is to be the hottest, the sexiest..
Society drives us to be fucking obsessed by the way we look,
By the way others see us..
Anywhere you go you're either pretty or ugly.
From high school, to college, to work..
All our lives are ruled by beauty.
Fashion is a part of that problem
Designers put thin girls on their catwalk to symbolize perfection.
In adverts, papers, stores, social media, videos
Everything is about beauty.
The more you are thin, the more you are beautiful.
So all the girls wanna be thin, to have someone falling in love with them.
But is love truly about beauty?

I fell in this trap.
I spent most of my life taking care of myself.
By taking care of me,
I mean taking care of my appearance.  
But now that I look back,
I realize that I've nothing left.
Nothing I love,
Nothing I can hang on,
Nothing I can be proud of,
Nothing, but fakeness.
From head to toe.
That's what I am : fake. Everything's fake :
Fake huge lips to look like a porn star.
Fake teeth to fake smiling even if I'm broken inside.
Fake butt to attract nasty men's eyes.
Fake lashes to be more bitchy than I already am.
Fake hair to look like a princess, an empty princess with fucking long useless hair...
Fake happiness.
Fake life.
Fake me.
A fake human being, trapped in her own mind.

At this point of my life, I suddenly understand that..
I invested so much on beauty.
So much that I lost myself in all these..
...Surgeries,
Make up,
Dresses,
Heels,
Furs....
But I forgot too soon that..
... beauty fades eventually.
Everything fades actually, except intelligence.
One day,
my smile wouldn't be as bright as it used to be,
my aesthetic will not impress anybody or save me anymore
One day,
my skin is gonna be awful because of stretch marks, wrinkles...

My beauty is all I have, but one day, my all will disappear.
My all,
Everything I've worked for since day one will die abruptly killed by years..
And today, I finally learned that beauty shouldn't be the thing that defines me...
What defines me should be deeper, stronger than that..
It should be invisible but palpable at the same time..
My interior, my soul, my brain.
All my life, I was afraid of not being enough.
Not pretty enough
Not skinny enough
Not tall enough
Not tan enough
But was I really enough with all these things hiding the real me ?

I'm not saying that, you don't have to take care of yourself.
But, invest all your energy on your appearance is not the solution to feel happy.
You'll feel like a doll.
Stuck with your image of dump barbie.
Sexual object.
You don't wanna be seen like this.
Nobody wants to.
In fact, it's way more important to invest on your brain than on your body.
All my efforts to improve the way I look were useless if my inside is depressed and ugly.

If I can give you an advice do not forget to feed you from the inside;
Your soul with faith and meditation
Your brain with knowledge and hardwork
Your heart with love, real and pure love..
Not a physical love.
'Cause at the end of your journey you're here, all alone with yourself.
With your former beauty that's just a memory now..
You're alone with your soul and brain.
The difference is that they never get old.
They're immortal, ageless.
So you're stuck with 'em and you can't do anything against that
No matter how far you run,
you can never run away from yourself.

Accept yourself just as you are.
it's okay if you have some stretch marks.
In any case, you are perfect thanks to god.
He created you, us, at his image.
We are all perfect,
In different shades,
Différents degrees,
But difference is the perfect definition of beauty.
Be yourself.
Be your own kind of beauty.
Follow your own trend.
Love yourself.