Rowan: Queen of Chav's

A talk with Papa (Twenty-two)

Rowan PoV

When we got home, Dad had to go back to work, as he was the one that was working that day since Dad and Papa made it so they worked every other day, so there was just Papa and I at home.

I got out of my school uniform and slipped back into my pj's, then Papa made me eat, since I didn't have breakfast that morning.

"So is you not eating breakfast in the mornings a regular occurrence?"
"Yes Papa, it is"
"So how often do you miss it?"
"I miss it most days"
"Why is that Ro?"
"Because I'm not hungry most mornings Papa"
"Rowan, (sighs), that's not good enough, you fainted today, do you know how serious that shit is?"
"It's not great for my health"

Papa crossed his arms, and while he looked stern, you could tell that it came from a place of love and concern, which I felt terrible about because he was worried about me.

"Sweetheart, it's not just the fact that you don't have breakfast, it's that you don't sleep and then skip breakfast-"
"Papa-"
"Sweetheart I know that Dad does it all the time, but I give out to him about it because I was trying to prevent what happened to you today"
"I'm sorry Papa"

Papa put his hands either side of my face, so I wouldn't look down to the floor, because I have a habit of doing that when something serious happens.

"Hey Sweetie, talk to me, is there something stressing you?"
"You mean other than my GCSE'S?"
"Well, is there anything other than your GCSE'S that is stressing you out?"
"Well, I, uh, I, well, uh please don't get mad at me-"
"Hey, why would I be mad at you Sweetie?"
"Well, uh, I, uh, I, I heard Dad on the phone the other day while I was dosing, again please don't be mad at me"
"Hey Poppet, I'm not mad at you, though it does explain a lot Sweetheart, you know, that's been stressing Dad out too, you know why?"
"No"

Papa then kissed my forehead, tucked my hair behind my ears, and then pulled me into a hug, to which I was grateful for, because I really needed one at that moment in moment.

"Because he didn't want you to have anymore stress"
"Papa"
"Yeah"
"I don't have to go on the holiday with her and king dickhead, do I?"
"Of course you don't have to go on the holiday with them Poppet, and honestly I don't think that Dad would have let you go with them anyway"
"He wouldn't be a fucking Addams if he did let me"
"(Snorts)"
"What, being a fucking Addams means that you're a stubborn little shit"
"What does that say about me then?"
"You're not married to Dad yet, and even after you marry him, you would only be an Addams through marriage"
"You have an answer for everything"
"Isn't that the point we're all trying to get to in life though Papa?"
"I guess so Poppet"

I looked up at Papa, his green eyes still looked all serious and shit, which made me feel bad still, because I hated worrying people, I especially hate it when people worry about my health, well that's more to do with me hating feeling like a burden.

"Papa"
"Yes Poppet?"
"Would it make you feel better if I actually had breakfast?"
"It would help, but then you would still skip it on other days"
"I'll try to have breakfast more Papa, I can't promise anything though, because it's me and I don't want to break a promise, you know"
"I do Sweetheart, I know that you don't like cereal-"

That was the understatement of the millennium, because when I was younger, my Nan fucked up the basic thing of eating cereal for me, which sucks because cereal is such an easy grab meal.

"Dad's Mum fucking traumatised me with what she does with cereal, (gags)"
"Ok, what about if you poach some eggs in the morning-"
"I'm not setting fire to my fucking hand!"

Papa looked at me all sad, which was just as bad as him giving me a worried look, but I get it since he didn't realise that I was still terrified of the hob because Dad's hand caught on fire when I was 6.

"Sweetheart I didn't know that it still scares you"
"Because it's ridiculous-"
"It's not ridiculous Poppet, I know that witnessing something like that is absolutely terrifying"
"Yeah"

A part of me was wishing that I never fucking blurted out that I was still scared of the hob, but I realise now that it has helped me to admit it to other people, other than Dad, because he would feel absolutely terrible about it.