JOHNS POV
It was hard to leave, hard to bear the pain and fear of leaving my living wife. That pain came right back knowing now I have a child I may never be able to see. I can't think of those things though or maybe it will help me in war, give me something to fight for. I'm going to say right now war... Well war is a fear unimaginable. Those nightmares and monsters you get scared over is not real fear. You never know real fear until your on the ground shooting at a man with the thoughts that only a murderer has, as he is shooting back, that is real fear. I grew up with a father who told me that fear is only something the brain makes up but in reality we experience something more scary and more exhilarating than fear, and that would be death. I think about it every time I blink.
What is death? Do us humans ever really know the true meaning of death? Throughout our daily lives we don't think about it right up until that time comes, but when you think about it, we probably should base our daily lives in death, how we are going to die, whether we are going to heaven or not, the choices we make descifering the place we are going to, and what impression we are going to make on other peoples lives. So really death is our reality. It's not supposed to be depressing it's supposed to be a celebration of the lives of our loved ones. Which sounds impossible because in one moment your life changes and your supposed to celebrate what happened.
I'm supposed to go home soon and I'm excited. excited to see my wife and my baby. I think about them everyday. I think about the time I'm losing with them. I won't be able to see my wife hold my baby in her belly. I want to be there with my wife as she delivers, but at the same time I want to protect them and every single women and child in America.
