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AS I WAKE UP, I LOOK around the room for a moment a little confused where I am before last night comes back to me.
I raise up from the big bed covered in white duvets and walk out to the open living room / kitchen / dining area where I see Kylian sleeping on the beautiful vintage couch.
I decide to lay down in the second couch opposite the one that Kylian is in. In that position I stay, admiring Kylian sleeping.
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We dance around the kitchen to songs like My Type by Saint Motel and One Foot by Walk the Moon as we make sandwiches and smoothies for breakfast, a lot of laughs are also involved in the making of our breakfast.
He places his hands on my hips as we dance before spinning me around, crushing his lips onto mine. I start laughing as we separate before taking a bite of my sandwich which puts a smile on Kylian's face.
"I'm leaving Paris tomorrow." I say out of the blue.
"You what?" he ask as if he thought he heard wrong while his smile quickly disappears.
"I sold Italy's apartment yesterday and I leave over the keys for my apartment this afternoon." I say making Kylian's actions more serious as he lays down his sandwich and turns down the volume of the speaker.
"I don't really know what to say." he responds, looking out in the empty air.
"So why did we do all this if you're not going to be here?" he ad now turning his eyes towards me.
"Kylian, you know that our relationship is complicated. And the fact that you really don't know me scares me!" I respond.
"Sure I know you!"
"What are my ambitions?" I say making Kylian frustrated.
"It's just that Kylian. I know that you want to have a successful career in football with loads of trophies and honours wherever it takes you. I don't want to live a life on the side when you're living the high life." I say, taking a pause in my confession.
"My dream is to travel the world, meet new people and explore other cultures and traditions." I continue.
He put his hands on my cheeks and look me straight into my eyes as tears starts building up in our eyes.
"Happiness is all I want for you. And if I'm not it then I'll let you go, even though you'll always have a special place in my heart." he say as we both smile.
I kiss his soft lips after that the tears have covered our lips in the salty liquid. I love you, I mouth to him.
Maybe Kylian had the rights to know the whole story but it felt at the moment like it was the right choice to tell him just this part.
It was for the best and if the future punishes me for it, so be it.
* * *
This is a really messy chapter but life is a messy place and it comes with many surprises.
