Stars (Logicality) - Completed

Chapter 17

Friday

Guilt.

It was the feeling that loved to take over Roman's mind the most lately.

Even as he sat beside Virgil's hospital bed, clutching his pale, rather lifeless hand, he couldn't help but feel the dark thoughts attempt to consume his mind again.

Had it not been for Remy saving him, Roman would not be here today. That was...rather scary if you think about it. One move could have changed everything.

"Mr. Hamilton, visiting hours are now over. I'm sorry."

Roman slowly turned his head, eyes locking with Nurse Lina. She was leaning against the doorway, wearing a concerned look.

With a heavy sigh, Roman kissed his boyfriend's hand, softly, before standing and making his way out to the hall. He flinched some when Lina closed the door once he was out.

"If you ever need to talk—"

"I'm not taking any advice from you!" Roman said, snapping suddenly.

Lina bit her lip, sighing slightly now. "Look, I know I have not made the best decisions during my time around all of you, but I just want to say that I'm sincerely sorry. Admittedly, I'm not that used to anxiety-related things, as that level of mental health is not my exact field here. But I wanted to help, and I thought I was helping before, but clearly I was not."

The teen looked up at her, his head tilted slightly. "I can't speak for Virgil...but I understand what you mean...I'm learning about Virgil's situation too..." He replied, quietly.

Lina nodded, not pushing this any farther. Today her long, dark hair was in a ponytail up high on her head. Even then, the ends of her hair was brushing the small of her back.

"I...I should probably get going..." Roman walked down the hall, not giving her a chance to reply. His boots made soft clicks as he walked towards the exit, the sound echoing down the relatively quiet hall.

Once in his car, he sat in the parking lot, scrolling through his music while the car idled in its spot. Minutes later, the soft vocals of Amy Lee came from the speakers. "My Immortal" was not exactly the best song he should be listening to now, but it reminded him of Virgil in ways that were hard to explain. He wouldn't even have known the song were it not for his boyfriend, who introduced Roman to his favorite band, Evanescence, a while ago.

It was odd not having Virgil sitting beside him in the passenger seat, mouthing nearly every lyric to the songs he knew, though he tried to hide it. He had grown very used to his presence by now, and without him here now...it was like a piece of Roman was gone too.

Roman pulled into the driveway of the Sanders residence, just sitting there and letting his car run as more music came from the speakers, all personal favorites Virgil had introduced Roman too.

He had been looking forward, staring at basically nothing, when he noticed a shadow pass in front of his headlights that were lighting up the garage door. He heard soft taping on his window, and slowly turned to find Logan looking at him. With a heavy sigh, Roman shut his car off and got out, silently following Logan who led him inside the house. In a matter of minutes, Roman now held a mug of warm tea, and he was snuggled up in a black blanket that clearly belonged to Virgil.

Roman didn't know how long he and Logan talked that night. It was quite relieving for the teen to finally get all the things he needed to say off his chest, all the emotions, even the dark ones and the embarrassing ones he tried so hard to keep inside, came pouring out. And while Roman had his guard down, talking for what seemed like forever, Logan was incredibly patient with him.