I can't stand you

8 Jaebum

It had been 2 years.  A lot can happen in 2 years, a lot of good things... and a lot of bad.

My mind was plagued with the bad things however.  They were all I could think of, every bad thing that happened. 

Today was especially rough, today my mothers funeral was held.  I had a semi steady job writing articles, papers, and a few books on living with a disability.. having to accept that you're broken. 

Even with that I couldn't afford the nicest and fanciest funeral, mother knew that however and I knew she wouldn't judge me for what I couldn't do.

She tried to put a brave face on until the end... but I could tell she was giving up.  This disease... this thing her and I both have, while doctors are unsure what it is, what to call it, or how to treat it... they did know it wasn't what killed her.

She had a weak heart, which meant... I had a good chance at living a long life.  That is... if I wanted to.

Today was an okay day for me... I had just my cane with me and I was aware i shouldn't be out alone for too long in case I started having issues... but I wanted to check something.

With my mother... my medical problems... and just everything I left someone very important behind.  I refused to drag them into my pathetic world of working 3 jobs... getting fired for having shaking spells that caused to me collapse...  I didn't want to take Jinyoung down with me.

I wouldn't say I'm any better... maybe I'm just more selfish now...  whatever the reason I slowly walked into the park and checked to see if there was a food truck.

And there was... an ice cream truck, and Jinyoung was not running it.

I knew he would have moved on... and I was glad he did but my heart still dropped as I slowly walked out.

Across the street I saw a coffee shop that was new... it had an advertisement for lemonade.

I made my way across the street and into the shop.  It was cute, classy with used books lining the walls for people to take and read while inside.

I went up to the counter and ordered their lemonade.  After paying I sat at a table and just looked at the glass.

There was something so sweet about the sour drink and I couldn't even drink it... yet it made me feel refreshed somehow.

"Dae go ahead and get home I can close tonight."

I looked up and saw two men talking.  One, Dae I would assume left and the other stayed behind the register signing.

As he turned around my eyes widened and I dropped my cane creating a loud clanking noise on the floor of the empty shop.

I immediately slammed my head on the table and covered it with my hands which had begun to shake more and more.

I wanted to see him... but I wasn't ready.

"Sir... are you okay?"  He asked placing my cane next to me and hand on my shoulder.

"I'm so sorry... I swear this isn't a cornfield and I'm not stalking but I'm so sorry."  I said looking up and he gasped.

His eyes widened as he reached out and placed his hand on mine.

"Jaebum....". He whispered and I smiled nodding.

"Jinyoung... You sold your truck I see."  I said and he smiled widely tears filling his eyes.

"Yeah... I told you I'd have to get something bigger in case you needed a wheelchair... how... how are you?"  He asked moving and sitting across from me.

"Wait- before you answer that."  He got up and ran to the door switching the sign to closed and locking the door.

"Okay, now how are you?  And why do you have a lemonade do you want to die?!"  He asked sitting across from me and taking the glass away.

I smiled at him refusing to take my eyes off of him..: I wasn't going to lose him this time.

//ayyYyye//