Rock Bottom

Safe

When Alec walked back into the school the next day he felt better somehow. There had been nothing wrong with sleeping the night at Maia's, but it wasn't home. Then again neither was school, but it felt more like home than anywhere else he had at the moment.

Alec was glad to see Izzy in the hall today. He was feeling strangely isolated without his cell phone, and hadn't known how to check on her. For that matter, Alec hadn't even seen his parents since he'd left them asleep in the moteln and he hadn't spoken to them - really spoken to them - since the men had come to repossess the house. He wasn't totally sure if he wanted to talk to them at all right now. Then again, even if he did want to talk to them, neither him nor his parents had a phone number - landline or cell - to their name at the moment, so it wasn't like he could to reach them anyway.

As he sat in Math class Alec tried very hard not to add. He didn't want to count the days until he wasn't supposed to be here anymore. He didn't want to think about what would happen next week when his exams were over, and adulthood hit him square in the face. For there would be no putting it off to go to college as he'd expected. Until two days ago his whole life had been laid out before him, a neat little path with many guarantees of support and structure, but now that path was shattered, and all Alec could see of his future was emptiness. No matter how hard he tried, the image wouldn't form in his mind. Alec couldn't picture tomorrow. He could imagine what he might want it to look like, but he couldn't see that future with his own face. A stranger held this imaginary life that was no longer mixed with his own.

On top of school ending, Alec also was trying not to think about where he'd sleep tonight. For it was all very well to stay over at a friends house for one night, but he couldn't do that forever. Maia would be going off to college soon, and it wasn't like he could stay there with just her parents. He was sure they'd try and say yes, but it still felt wrong. It would be a similar situation for any of his other friends. Jace only had his grandmother, and she barely had room for Jace. Alec wasn't about to impose himself on Imogen. Besides, though he hadn't voiced them, Jace might have plans to go to college as well which would once again leave Alec alone with a friends parent, and that is not where he wanted to be. The longer he sat and stared at the wall, the more Alec realized that his only option was his Science teacher. It wasn't exactly where he wanted to be - the idea of living with a teacher was a strange one to say the least - but if he didn't want to sleep in motels until his allowance ran out then he really didn't have another option. It was such a powerless feeling.

When Math class ended it was lunch, and Alec headed off right away to see if he could find his sister. He saw her sitting with Simon eating what looked like a homemade sandwich. Finding himself once again envious of his sister, Alec announced his presence and sat down opposite her.

"Where'd you get the grub sis?" Alec asked, trying to be casual.

"Elaine made me lunch," Izzy beamed.

"Mom's been great," Simon smiled. "At first I was worried she'd be uncomfortable with me asking if my girlfriend of just a few weeks could stay over, but after she heard why she was really supportive."

"Yep!" Izzy smiled. "She said I can stay as long as I want... though I don't know if that actually means until I graduate."

Alec was glad to see his sister was in good spirits, though it confused him slightly. Hadn't they been through the same thing? Why was she smiling when he felt like the ground had been yanked out from under him? It didn't feel fair somehow.

As lunch continued, Alec noticed something different about the way she looked at Simon. It was then that he realized why she hadn't felt the full impact of their parents crisis. Izzy was focusing on the more time with her boyfriend part of the equation rather than 'the what the hell am I going to do with the rest of my life' part of it. Once he realized this Alec couldn't even blame her. If he'd had that option he was sure he'd have followed in her footsteps. Besides, she was still two years from graduation. She hadn't been expecting mom and dad to start paying her tuition in the fall. Despite them both losing the same house, the levels of their loss seemed to differ greatly. Izzy was accepting the charity that comes with telling people a story like theirs, so why couldn't Alec do that? Why couldn't he just take Mr. Carstairs up on his offer and be done with it?