A Frozen Heart - Leo Valdez

15- You gotta do what you gotta do

Glimpses. Random white flashes of light in my darkness. The black clears like fog and is replaced by a little girl with red hair in a white room. She's crying in the corner. Her small hands are cupped around her face as endless tears pour from her eyes.

I have no body. I float to her and reach my invisible hands out to place on her shoulder. The little girl slowly turns around and I find out her eyes are black. However, that's not what makes me scream. The little girl is me.

"What have you done to us?" My younger self cries.

My mouth opens but nothing comes out but random blabber. I'm lost for words. What's going on? How did I end up here?

""You've killed us. You killed our soul."

If I had a head, I would be shaking it furiously. The little girls voice is soft but harsh, it was probably sweet at one time. "What are you?"

"Your Lucid," My younger self replies, the black eyes burning into me. "I am you."

I don't know how the thought occurred to me, but I remember the ice skating accident and ask, "Am I dead?"

"No. Unfortunately we are not," The child shakes her head slowly and wears a pained expression. She stands up.

"Is Annabeth dead?" I'm a little hopeful, my tone hitches in excitement even though I'm hiding a secret thought which I hope she is alive and healthy.

She frowns and reaches out her small hand which she places on my none existent face. "What has become of us? We once were so great…"

I narrow my eyes in confusion. "I haven't changed."

"But we have. Very much." My young self has pity in her voice, which makes a sudden bolt of anger rise within me.

"If you are me, you would be proud. I'm proud of myself, I've had victory. I've made made mother love me and Gaea grateful." I argue.

"That's all we care about now… Mother... "I'm afraid she has lied. She is the reason for our coma."

"My coma?"

"Yes," A small smile appears on her face. "The real part of us was emerging in our heart. Our soul was fighting its way back in our body. But Khione destroyed whatever hope we had." Her smile falls and she cups her hands out in front of her.

"You're lying," I accuse. "Mom would want me to have a soul."

"I am your future. I am your past," The red headed girl points to her eyes. "We have no soul. Not ever. Not unless we change."

"Stop saying we!" I yell, fear washing over me. "I have a soul. You don't. You might even be tricking me… How do I know you just didn't take the shape of myself?"

"I would do no such thing! I am certainly you. I'm here to visit, to give you a warning with the little time we have left," Her short cold fingers come out and place on wherever my heart would be. "Have your own opinions."

"I do what I think is right," I say.

"Do you? Or do you block out your own conscious mind and listen to the commands of our demented mother?"

My eyebrows furrow together, but not in anger. In thought. Certainly all the things I have done is because I wanted to, right? My actions are because of me… Or are they? "Where have I gone?" I ask, my voice barely above a whisper.

My Lucid opens her mouth to speak but she never gets a chance. She fades and the darkness overtakes my vision, blowing away every trace of the little girl I once was.