Hey God, It's Caty

1. Pain

Hey God,

It's Caty.

I have been struggling with pain for months (as you already know).  My pain in my back in legs. Today I was supposed to go to church with my family then go shopping. But my pain was so bad I had to go back to bed.

It's getting old being in pain all the time. I have been in pain for seven months with no where close to finding an answer to why I am in pain. I want an answer. I want to get better. I want to have a life again. Go out in town again, see friends, go to college, and not hurt like heck afterword.

I'm really frustrated at you. Why have I been through seven years of pain with my mental illnesses and now my back and legs? When will good times come? I haven't seen any good times in seven years, when will I finally be happy?

I hate being upset at you, but I just don't know what else to do. We got school supplies today and I don't know if I am even going to college this fall. I know for sure I will do my online class. But what about my other classes that I have to go in person? How am I going to go when I hurt like heck every minute of the day? My parents are being very understanding and they aren't going to make me go if I still hurt. But I want to feel better, when will I feel better?

I know you have called me to write devotions but I can't even encourage myself. How can I encourage others? So I may be taking a break from devotions and just focus on talking to you. I want to be close to you God and not be so angry with you. But I don't know how not to be upset at you. Look at me, I can barely take a shower. There is no way I can solve my seven year long anger at you with one simple prayer. But I will keep talking to you anyways. I will probably cry a lot writing this to you so I hope you like it.

Thanks for listening.

Love always 

-Caty

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Hey guys. This is my new book where I am going to be writing my brutally honest prayers to God. I hope you like it.

-Caty