Episkey//D.M

34

I sat on the train, staring out of the window, blocking Harry and Ron out completely. They were talking about Draco but at this point I didn't care. Ron was leaning against me and I was thankful for the warmth he was passing through his body. I was cold and my stomach churned, I felt very unwell. I had drank the night before, finishing the rest of Moony's fire whiskey.

"Hey, you alright?" Harry asked me, breaking me out of my train of thought. I was about to answer when Ron spoke up.

"She almost drank herself to death last night, she passed out while walking into the common room." Ron said and I just got up and left. We were coming to the station so I grabbed my bag and slung it over my shoulder, making my way to the front of the train and past the Slytherins.

"Oh Phoenix. You look like shit." Pansy spoke up and I turned to see her sitting next to Draco who had his eyes focused on me.

"I know." I said and she almost looked taken a back by my return.

"A little birdie told me you almost drunk yourself to death last night, you passed out while walking into your common room, right in front of everyone." She said and I just took a deep breathe before looking at Malfoy who stared at me, I had a pain in my eye and he caught on. He got up and made his way towards me.

"Shut up." He said in a threatening tone towards the girl who looked hurt by his words. He walked towards me stopping infront of me, placing his hand on the frame above my head. I was thankful he blocked the view of everyone else.

"Are you alright?" He asked and I just leaned my head against his chest, he rested his chin on the top of my head.

"We really are breaking every rule ever, huh?" I asked with a chuckle as I pulled away to fix his shirt as we came to the stop.

"It's worth it on my part." He said and I smiled and nodded.

"For me too." I said and we both exited the train as the door opened. We stepped off together and it seemed like all eyes were on us, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to my lips before sending me a warm smiled.

"I'll send you and owl." He whisper yelled and I just grinned and nodded, coming face to face with Lupin.

"Moony." I breathed out and the man took me into his arms. I breathed in the smell of coffee and chocolate, finding comfort once again.

***

I sat on the floor with Fred and George, but my eyes caught Lupins from outside. I sighed and got up, walking outside to see him staring out into the view. I tiredly leaned against the larger man. He took a deep breathe before turning around and looking at me.

"Tonks told me not to say this but you look terrible Phoenix. The only time I've seen you smile since you got off the train was when Draco kissed you and you hugged me. You look skinnier and I've seen your scratches. The bags under your eyes are more like pits." He said quickly before stopping, tears dropped from my eyes as he pointed out every flaw on my body, I kept my head down. "What happened to my, Phe?" Lupin questioned. Something inside me of snapped and I looked up at him, anger in my eyes.

"You want to know what happened Remus, do you really want to know what bloody happened? Well let's start off with my mother died and I lived with an alcoholic father. Then I came Hogwarts and for the first few years it was fine, then my dad died and everything seemed to go to shit. Then I found out I actually had family all along, which I was grateful for but on top of it all Voldemort was killing everything and everyone in his path. Then Padfoot died and I lost someone else close to me, my boyfriends a fucking death eater and I can't stop drinking and hurting myself!" I yelled. I stared at Remus as he stared at me, Tonks stood at the door with her hand over her mouth. Molly Weasley stood inside staring out the window.

"Phoenix..." Remus started, reaching forward to grab my hand but I shyly moved away shaking my head.

"No remus." I said, pushing past my family and up towards my room. Where I spent most of the rest of the night.

I stared down from my window to outside as I watched Remus and Tonks leave, Remus looked up towards my room before quickly snapping his head in the direction of the field. I look towards the field also, an unsettling feeling made its way down my spine. I watched as torches brushed through the sky, before setting fire to the reeds around the house.

"Shit!" I yelled. Harry and I were out of the house in seconds, the sound of Remus and Arthur and Ginny and everyone clouded me as I ran as fast as my feet cold take me, the sound of Bellatrix's laughter filled the air and it only made me more angry. I ran through the tall grass, the feeling of the dry grass on my face making me want to pull my hair out. I ran faster and faster, hoping to come across someone but I didn't, instead I ran straight into a swampy piece of land. My eyes moved around to focus on Harry.

"Phoenix!" He yelled and I ran towards him. We stood back to back. Bellatrix looks towards Harry and I watch as he got pulled towards her, but I can't make up the words to break him out of it.

"No, Harry! It's a trap!" Ginny yelled and I turned to her, thankful she got here. But it didn't last long, Bellatrix let out a scream of rage and fires a red light towards Ginny which explodes into small sparks around her, Ginny fires back, quickly turning around only to be faced with Greyback, I tried to yell but it's was no use, nothing comes out of my mouth. He said something and Harry shot a beam of light off his back. Greyback ran our way and Harry grabbed my hand, running through the reeds again. My breathing was getting lighter and lighter as I run. We got into a clearing and hid in the reeds, Greyback came into the clearing and we all shot towards him, he lifted into the air and then slammed back into the ground.

He stood back up, looking towards Harry, Ginny and I. Just as he's about to attack us a strange clicking noise sounds through the air again. I shake my head, the noise annoying my ears. Arthur, Remus, Fred, George and Ron rushed into the clearing. The look on Remus's face was enough to make me want to never leave him, I quickly walked towards him and he pulled me into a hug. We all got back to the house and as we did, we watched the two balls of smoke fly through the house, going in one side and coming out the other. I watched in horror, tears in my eyes at the home I had spent so much time at crumbled to the ground. I turned to Fred and George who both just looked in pain at their house. Moony held me as I cried. Because that was another thing to add to the list of things that fucked me up even more.