I am not considered a promiscuous girl.
Or the type to be drunk on public transport.
You must think that I am broken.
You whore girl, be ashamed.
Not only I am also poison
But I own up to my mistakes
You never said you didn't want me
But regret is something we both do
And now we're drunk on liquid luck and chance
The coincidence that we're both the same
I think you're my lucky number six
The girl that came after the boys
With tongue and teeth and nothing more
There was nothing there
But out of six you're the one I remember
The girl with the golden throne
I drift and scream inside
You're a diamond in disguise
Because never in a million years would I have thought that you out of all people would like me.
I thought it would just stay a fantasy, a wonderland of you and I
It would forever remain a longing when you breeze in the room
And now we're back to awkward conversation
Just a notification on my phone
A small talk or two and no kisses, all alone
We both remember that night, 28th July.
She's acting like she doesn't
And,to be fair, so am I
I wish I could not be so confused about one little crush
Denial and longing rule the throne in my brain,
Kicking clarity to the floor
But I guess confusion has been part of me for a while now
It's about time I embrace that I'm messed up.
But it all come surging back, a tidal wave of ruin.
Another opportunity and I am not throwing away my shot.
Again we will lay at the bottom of the garden, we will be missing for hours.
Again I will feel your lips on mine and my ears will hear the scent of your soul once more.
And again, I will be just as perplexed as the previous times.
Finally I realise we will be nothing more.
Nothing more than a coincidence
And the convenience that we're the same
Now I cry into my pillow case because I know that we're not a we.
And that hurts
It really hurts
I don't know the first thing about you
Your favourite colour
First crush?
It's not something I've had the pleasure to be familiar with.
And I hate that
I damn hate that.
