I can still do this

chapter 4

When I wake up, I do it all at once, like I've learned to in these games, but I don't move for a second, to assess my situation.

I'm not tied up. I'm not missing any limbs. I do have a killer headache, but that's the only problem I can feel. So I open my eyes, do my best to focus on the greyish ceiling above me. Everything remains pleasantly fuzzy and foggy. "Hey," I say to the stone, and I imagine that I can hear echoes.

The last time I woke up disoriented, Rue was with me. She changed my leaves twice. She looked like Rue. She's dead.

It's several seconds after I first decide to sit up that I actually manage to get myself propped up a little bit on my elbows. I realize there's something on my head, covering one eye, which accounts for some of the blur. Tentatively, I touch it - a bandage type thing, a thick pad over the area around my eye, and tape holding it down. It covers almost half my face.

It takes me an alarming amount of time to put these things together. I need to be sharper; these games aren't over. But I can't make myself pull it together any faster, and my eyes still won't focus.

"You okay?"

I jump, which hurts my head so bad I wince, and that hurts even more. Eventually, though, I turn enough to see who spoke.

Cato. Of course it was Cato, he's the only other person alive in this damn arena. He's sitting on the floor by the water hole, and he's got his shirt and jackets on, something in my brain observes. I almost catch myself being disappointed, and then I'm horrified. Now is not the time for me to be loopy.

"I'm fine," I say, trying to keep myself from slurring. Something very important is pushing at my brain, demanding to be remembered, and I close my eyes so it can surface. Then I've got it. With clumsy fingers, I fumble for the stopwatch around my neck and squint at the display. About an hour and a half left. "I was out for two hours?" I demand loudly.

"No, just like an hour," he shakes his head.

Even half-asleep, I can put together what this means: something changed outside. It's coming down to the wire. Haymitch wants me to act as soon as possible. Another reason I need to get my foggy brain together.

I stand up carefully, holding myself upright with the cave wall. My legs are shaking bad, so I lean my whole body against the cool stone and close my eyes - or eye, really. "Did you do this?" I ask distinctly, pointing in the general direction of my eye bandage.

"Yeah. Sponsors sent the stuff. They really want you alive," he said. I can't tell if he's upset, impressed, or joking with me. Does he even know how to joke?

I take one unsteady step away from the wall and immediately know that I won't be able to walk anywhere. "River," I say, pushing my hands on the rock to keep myself upright. "Get me into the river."

He stands up quickly and offers his arm to me. I take it and kind of fall into him. But that's okay, he's like a wall. I make a very spirited attempt to walk, but he ends up essentially carrying me to the edge of the river. "I could drown you," he said, half to himself.

"Yep. Or you can let me do it for you." I try to walk into the water.

He holds me back "What?"

"Into the middle. Come with me." I'm having trouble talking in more than sentence fragments, and I hope he can understand me. "Come on," I say louder when he doesn't move.

He shakes his head, then tightens his grip on me and we wade in. "Where are we going?" he asks me, sounding annoyed.

"Middle. Where the water's fast. Loud." My feet are on the riverbed, but I'm not even trying to walk anymore. He's got one arm around my waist and somewhere along the line, my arm has gotten around his shoulders. In this position, he carries me into the middle of the water, where the water is up to my mid-stomach. Then, he turns me around and holds me at arms length. His hands go all the way around my arms. I am definitely not going to drown while he's holding me like this.