Cuts - Kellic (Book One) // boyxboy

Chapter Five

My loud painful cries have now turned into long, quiet wails. My throat is sore and raspy but I couldn't stop crying if I tried.

The cold water pours over me, sticking my clothes to my body which is trembling violently. I'm unsure if I'm shivering because I'm cold or shaking because I'm terrified.

I'm in immense pain, both physical and emotional. I can't even move.

Carter left a few hours ago yet I'm still afraid he's going to come back. I can still feel him on me, despite having scratched the skin off my arms whilst  trying to scrub him away.

The cold water oozes into my wounds, causing them to sting while simultaneously soothing my muscles.

I'm still hysterical and in a state of shock. I knew these things happened but never did I think they would happen to me.

"Kellin! I'm home!" Jenna's voice makes me jump as I hear the front door close loudly and a jingle of keys.

I want to get up and lock the door but I can't move. I'm in too much pain.

"Kellin!" I hear her call again. She sounds confused and worried but I can't even manage to speak.

There's stomping up the stairs and I try to contain my sobs but fail miserably and end up choking.

"Hun, you okay?" Jenna asks sounding concerned .

"Please go away." I cry.

I can't even think up a lie or an excuse.

"Kellin, what's wrong?" she asks sterner.

"Nothing. Leave me alone." I sob pleadingly.

"I'm not leaving. You sound like you're in pain. I'll count to three then I'm coming in." she warns.

"No!" I shout but she starts counting anyway.

"One, two, three. I'm coming in."

She slowly opens the door then gasps when she sees me.

"Kellin, fuck, are you okay?" she cries as she rushes over and turns the shower off.

"Please just go." I sob.

She ignores my request and kneels down beside me. She takes my hands and examines the bleeding scratches on my arms.

"Babe, did you do this to yourself?" she asks.

I stay silent.

"Oh, honey. Let's get you to bed." she whispers trying to stand me up but I cry out in pain.

She carefully places me back down and looks at me concerned.

"You're in pain." she states. "Kell, what happened?"

"Nothing." I cry.

She sighs and takes my hands again. She looks down at my wrists that are bruised from Carter's belt. 

"Kellin, what's this? Those don't look self inflicted." she says softly.

"Nothing. They're nothing." I whine, yanking my hands from hers.

She looks hopeless and I feel guilty but I can't tell her. If I tell her, Carter will hurt Vic.

"Can you stand?" she asks.

"Just give me a second!" I snap, feeling completely overwhelmed.

"Okay, okay, why don't I go get you some clothes?" she offers.

I nod, just wanting her to leave as soon as possible. She gets up and leaves the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

I take a few deep breaths and finally manage to pick myself up. My pain has numbed quite a bit but I'm still really shaky. My clothes are heavy and now I can feel the sting of the scratches I've created on my arms, and yet, I can still feel Carter's hands all over me, even in places they never touched.

I start sobbing again as I step out of the shower. I've never felt this horrible before. Never. This is by far the worst thing that has and could ever happen to me.

Jenna soon returns and looks pained when she finds me crying again.

"Sweetie, do you want me to call Vic?" she asks softly and I shake my head aggressively.

"No, no, don't call Vic." I sob. He can't see me like this. And I can't see him knowing that this has happened to me. What would I even say?

"Okay. Why don't you get dressed and get some sleep? We'll talk in the morning." she says softly.

She puts my clothes on the counter then she leaves the room, quietly closing the door behind her.

It takes all the strength and will power in me to get undressed. But as soon as I feel the air touch my skin, I'm in a state of panic. 

My nails graze my already bruised flesh as I try to scratch away Carter's presence once again. His whole silhouette smothers and suffocates me. It's torturous.

I stop scratching when I notice my skin breaking again. I come to the realization that he's not hurting me anymore and manage to calm myself down. With great difficulty due to my continuous shaking, I get dressed and immediately feel better.

I take a deep breath and wipe my eyes before I leave the bathroom. I don't have the guts to go back to my room so I go down to Vic's old room which isn't completely packed up yet. His bed is still messy from last time he slept in it and the entire room still smells like him. I slide into Vic's bed,  immediately feeling safe as I pull his duvet around me. 

I feel exhausted but still overwhelmed by tonights events. I can't help but to feel like this is my fault. If I hadn't ditched Vic's party then none of this would have happened. I'm such an idiot. 

I clench Vic's pillow as I begin sobbing again but as I do so, I feel something inside the pillowcase. I stifle my sobs and reach in out of curiosity. I pull out a photo. I switch on Vic's lamp so I can see and I'm pleasantly surprised to see that it's a photo of Vic and I on prom night.

Vic had taken me to prom because he didn't have a partner and his mom was forcing him to go. It was one of the best nights of my life. We even slow danced.

I hold the photo close to my heart as I lay back down and switch the lamp back off. Darkness illuminates the room but the thought of Vic keeps me alight.

I guess as long as I have Vic, I'll be okay.