Cuts - Kellic (Book One) // boyxboy

Chapter Eighteen

I'm lying on my hospital bed, staring at the empty handsanitizer dispenser.

The nurse had taken the soap out after I told her I was an alcoholic. I was surprised at my own words. Never did I think I'd admit that to myself. But I not as surprised as I was when she told me she had to remove the handsanitizer because it contained alcohol.

How fucking ridiculous. I'm an alcoholic. I'm not insane. I'm not going to drink the fucking soap.

I woke up yesterday morning, part of me relieved that I had survived, the other part of me gutted.

There's a weird feeling when waking up after a suicide attempt. It's a numbness. A realization that it doesn't get any worse than this. This is it. This is what rock-bottom feels like.

They tell me I can't go home yet. They say I need to be released into the care of a parent, guardian or my next of kin. Vic is put down as my next of kin. He's not picking up the phone though. Why would he? He's getting married, probably right now.

I want to call Jenna but she's at a funeral right now. That's more important. Tay needs her support more than I do.

So I just lay there, staring at the empty soap dispenser.

In my attempts to not think about Vic, Carter or the wedding, I think about what Jenna told me. What if I don't tell someone and Carter hurts someone else? What if that someone else is Vic? I mean, Carter's a straight up sexual predator. Who's to say he won't hurt Vic? Mike said he's already very controlling of Vic. Once he doesn't have me to take his urges out on, what is he going to do? He said he likes when I scream. Does that mean he's going to make Vic scream? Can Carter even have normal sex?

I start to panic a little. Vic is about to marry a rapist. I keep calling him my rapist but he could be anyone's rapist.

I can't let him do it. I can't let him marry a monster.

I remove the medical tape from over the needle of the IV drip in my hand. Then I pull the needle out completely. It hurts and there's a little blood but that's unimportant to me right now.

I climb out of bed and tiptoe to the door before closing it quietly. I find my clothes in the drawer next to my hospital bed and get changed quickly but I can't find my shoes. I don't even know if I arrived here in shoes.

My body is aching and my head is spinning. I really shouldn't be leaving this hospital. But my well-being is the least important thing at the moment.

I go over to the window and look down, I'm only two stories up but the windows are barred, probably because I'm on suicide watch.

I go back over to the door and quickly slip the hospital bracelet under my sleeve before I slip out of the door.

I put my head down and avoid eye contact with anyone who passes me. Hopefully no one notices I'm barefoot.

Soon enough though, I'm walking out of the hospital. The sun burns my eyes and I'm so dizzy.

I don't know what I'm going to do but I have to stop Vic from marrying Carter, one way or another. Maybe it might be time for the truth to come out.

I start walking as fast as I can towards home which thankfully isn't too far away, but it takes longer than expected do to my cloudy state.

When I get inside, I consider calling the hospital and getting them to take me back there. I feel so weak. I had my stomach drained so I need fluids.

But I can't go back there until I stop Vic from making the biggest mistake of his life.

I find the invitation on the fridge and get the address, then I call a cab because lord knows if I drive, I will not make it to the church alive.