Destiny

Chap ~ 17

Shubha's Pov :

I woke up with the head ache. My eyes felt heavy. I opened my eyes and felt that I was in my husband's arm. Whenever i woke up in my husband's arm there was a content smile on my face but ...but..today I felt only hurt.

The things he told me yesterday..i couldn't forget it. I knew that he didn't knew who Harish was. And i didn't told him anything. When first time on Rakshabandhan he expressed his anger regarding the relation of me and Harish.I should have cleared all of it. But i didn't. I knew anyone can misunderstood our relation. So his anger was acceptable. But how he think so low of me. That I would.... And he danced with that girl and said the he will enjoy with..With. .her
New tears run down my cheeks remembering all of that. His word were so acidic and bitter. If  one time you hurt by some weapon, the wound heal easily. But if you are hurt by words. The hurt and the pain can't be heal easily. And if it heals. .The Mark would be there forever.

I accepted his anger. But he shouldn't have think and use such low words for me and Harish. I was not angry with my husband. I didn't hate my husband. But i was hurt. When he said sorry yesterday night. I could feel  guilt..i could see care for me in his eyes. He accepted his mistake and said sorry. So I forgave him. But i couldn't forget the filthy words he used for me. I couldn't forget how my husband thought so Low of me. The hurt would be there.

I freed myself from my husband's embrace and walked towards the bathroom.

After 45 minutes when i came back in the bedroom he was sitting at the age of the bed. Both hand resting on the both side of the bed.

Seeing me he looked straight in my eyes. There was some emotions. Some feelings in his eyes. But i averted his eye contact and started to comb my hair. I took sindoor and put it on my Maang. After I got ready i was about to leave the room but ..

"Shubha" came the voice of my husband.

I stopped. First time he said my name lovingly.

"I know I was total jerk last night. I shouldn't have use such words and ..and. .behave such badly with you. I am so sorry. I am really very sorry. Please forgive me. The thing I told about that girl was totally wrong. I didn't felt anything for her. I wouldn't have done anything with her. I .. I just wanted to....i just wanted to hurt you how you hurted me on Rakshabandhan by dancing with Harish. I didn't know that you are like brother and sister. But when i came to know about that. I wanted to punch myself hard for thinking such dirty. My mistake is not forgivable but if possible please forgive me. Please Shubha. Please " He said . I could hear the pleading in his voice.

I didn't thought that he would brought up the topic again. I thought he would never say sorry again about his mistake. But he was pleading for my forgiveness.
I have already forgave him last night.

"I have already forgive you last night. "  i told

"No. ..you haven't forgive me. I can say that. You haven't forgive me completely. Your are angry on Me. I know.  I will do anything for your forgiveness.
Please Shubha tell me what can I
do ?"
He said.

"I am saying truth. I have forgive you last night. But i am not angry. I am hurt. And the wound you gave me by your words will take some time to heal. That's all"
I said truly.

"What can I do to heal the wound i made because of my stupidity ?"  He asked in very sincere voice.

I took deep breath. But i have to tell whatever I was about to tell. If he really care for me. And respect me. If he really wanted my forgiveness. He would accept whatever I was about to tell.

"Please don't touch me without my permission. " i said.

There was silence in the room. When he called my name, i was about to leave the bedroom. I didn't turned around. Whatever conversation when had , my back was facing me. Because I didn't wanted to show him my new tears.