Close Your Eyes, Come With Me

XIII

Jack ran all the way back to the lodge. When he arrived, the bell had already rung. He waded through the bustling boys, shouting greetings and encouragement on his way to his bunk in the back. A small group of the younger boys were all trying to help Crutchie out of bed. Normally if Jack was absent, Race would step up, but he was currently dead to the world still asleep in his bed. Jack made a mental note of it, deciding he would snag a couple extra papers to try to make extra to buy Race something to eat.

"I got it from here. Thanks, fellas," Jack said to the boys. "Run on and get ready for the day."

Crutchie avoided eye contact with Jack as he helped him up. Jack pretended not to notice his anger. He tossed Crutchie his shirt and jacket, and the two of them made their way outside with the crowd. Jack purchased his papers and stepped aside to wait for Crutchie.

"Could I linger 'round ya today? We gotta talk about somethin' soon as we can," Jack said.

"'Sorry' takes just a second ta say," Crutchie answered, beginning to walk away.

"I'm sorry," Jack called after him. Crutchie stopped and turned. "I am. I'm sorry. It ain't right."

Crutchie looked out over the gathering of their friends, then back to Jack. A few of them were staring. Jack was publicly admitting he was wrong, a rare occurrence. Crutchie looked around again, skeptical.

Jack rolled his eyes and walked past him. "C'mon, we're wastin' daylight."

"What's goin' on with ya?" Crutchie said when he caught up to Jack.

"A lot of things, Crutchie. I'm wantin' to talk later about that conversation we had right before ya started ignorin' me. But we gotta get through the day first," Jack explained.

"About what Morris said to ya?" Crutchie ask, bewildered. "...Why?"

Jack didn't answer verbally, just looked Crutchie directly in the eye.  He wasn't going to play it off anymore, and he wasn't going to look away. Crutchie stared back, opened his mouth like he was going to speak, closed it again, and looked away. Jack smiled a little. He had a feeling things really might be okay like Medda had said.

--

"I'm out!" Jack called to Crutchie once his final customer seemed out of ear shot. "You?"

"Waitin' on you, pal," Crutchie called. He pushed himself up and crossed the street to Jack.

"I wanna grab a bite for Race on our way back. He's probably been down all day," Jack said.

"No doubt," Crutchie agreed. Jack was relieved he didn't sound angry.

They didn't talk as they walked. There was tension, but it was more anticipatory than awkward. Crutchie waited in the street while Jack ducked into a shop for the food. Jack smiled at him upon returning, and Crutchie smiled back, somewhat nervously. They continued on in silence. 

Jack made quick work of his usual evening routine of checking in on everyone. His heart was beating quickly, but for the first time he wasn't scared. He took a little more time to feed Race and talk to him. When everyone was looking away he slipped him a little coin. Race almost sobbed from gratitude. Jack assured him it was no problem at all, but proceeded to scold him for not taking care of himself. Race did his usual and tried turning it into a joke. Under usual circumstances, Jack wouldn't let him get away with it. But he had things to get to tonight.

Finally he was able to make his way back outside to find Crutchie shivering by the ladder to the fire escape. Crutchie smiled that same, nervous smile from before. Jack was still thinking about what he should say, so the climb was silent. Crutchie's demeanor slowly changed from endearing nervousness to bordering on panic as the silence dragged on. Jack wanted to help, he really did, but he was too busy being hyper aware of their shoulders touching and his own heartbeat and how if he didn't choose his next words carefully and say them quietly he might have to leave town quicker than expected. Thankfully, Crutchie broke the silence first.