𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒍𝒇 𝒔𝒖𝒓𝒗𝒊𝒗𝒆𝒔 ➪ «𝑑𝑎𝑟𝑦𝑙 𝑑𝑖𝑥𝑜𝑛»

ch. XXX pt. II

oOo

Glenn wandered into their camp just as the first rays hit them, worried off his cap. The shock from the sight made its way to his features; he looked as pale as a sheet. He'd lost part of his family again that night.

He knelt with them, head bowed in respect, not a word escaping his lips. His arm came around Alice, who not very surprisingly accepted the comfort and even leaned into him. He shared a look with Diana and gave her a small nod, which she returned.

His appearance made something start ticking again inside her. She turned to Felix, who had been loosely grasping their mother's hand with a distance in his eyes, and she put an arm around him.

The boy jolted and faced her, his eyes no longer glossy. Diana mustered the smallest smile and rested her head on his shoulder. She felt his cheek rest against the top of her head in the next second, and his arm was fast around her.

They didn't stay like that for long before Alice stood up, detangling herself from Glenn, heaving a great sigh.

Glenn stared up at her, confounded at her suddenness. He spoke his first words since joining them, "Where are you going?"

"I can't just sit here, I can't just-" She bent down and took the knife from Diana's lap. "I gotta do something." She shifted awkwardly, passing the blade from hand to hand, her knuckles white around the hilt each time. "I'll carve their names, for the- for the... graves."

Alice didn't like dwelling on things for long, that's how she'd always been. Dwelling meant darker and darker thoughts would infiltrate her mind, and she'd only struggle more to be set free.

Diana nodded once, understanding. Alice took a glance at the bodies of the people that she loved unconditionally, pressed her lips together, steeled herself, and turned on her heel.

Diana looked around. She didn't know what came next. She didn't know how to navigate in the world without her parents' guidance. She had always counted on them for everything, and had thought she'd be able to do so for many more years to come, even with the fucking apocalypse sprung on their asses, even with the close encounters they'd had, even after the multiple discussions that had ensued from approaching such subjects.

She had naively continued to think that her parents would die of old age and would be there to see her and Alice and Felix grow into their desired lives, not a care in the world.

God, how much more stupid could she get?

Diana felt her eyes well up again, her heart clenching in her chest like someone was trying to fit it through the eye of a needle.

What if she had stayed? What if she'd run a little faster? What if she wasn't a selfish, stubborn asshole who didn't know when to stay put or swallow her pride? It seemed her thoughts consisted only of 'what ifs'.

She'd told herself she would beg for her mother and father's forgiveness as soon as she came back. Well, now there was no one to beg to, and the guilt was still all there, bubbled up inside her like an overinflated balloon. She felt like screaming, fucking yell at the world, the universe, God, whoever was listening, to either kill her off as well or go fuck themselves, one of both.

"I wanna help," Glenn interrupted, thankfully – Diana was dangerously close to the edge, if not already tipping over. He glanced at her and Felix. "I'll help you whatever way I can, just tell me what you wanna do."

Diana nodded, forever grateful. She looked at Felix, whose head had come to rest on her shoulder, his eyes shut from exhaustion. She buried her own selfish guilt and focused on doing what she did best: care for others.