I love my dead gay son - Romeo and Juliet AU

1.1 --- 1, 2, 3, 4, I declare a thumb war

Quick note; this is my first work on Wattpad, so if you see anything you could improve, please tell me, via PM, comments or otherwise. Hope you enjoy! Also, don't worry, most of the time it's not actually fancy language.

The stables were calm. Horses munched their hay like so many do today, and the stable boy smoked a pipe among the straw. And then the murders began.

"Lad! Fetch me a steed. As black and darkly shaded as my soul."

The lad jumped at the sudden interruption of clearing up his ashes, but he obeyed. Within two minutes, all the while being hurried by Sampson to "Have haste, have haste!", a fine horse was tacked up. She was pure white.

Sampson cast a discerning eye over the mare, but could find no fault. "Good fellow, Gregory. Here's a coin, and another if you keep quiet concerning this visit of mine, alright mate?" However, that was the precise moment when the Montagues arrived. An escort of two, travelling across the town, disgracing the fine curl of Sampson's cape. Abraham and Balthasar, on black horses.

Sampson muttered to Gregory the lad, "I will bite my thumb, for it is a disgrace for them."

He did so, and soon Abraham roared from merely 10 yards distance, "Do you bite your thumb at us sir!"

"I do bite my thumb, sir."

"Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?"

Sampson whispered to Gregory, "Is the law on our side, if I say yea?"

Gregory quickly shook his head, and Sampson turned back to the Montagues bearing down on him.

"No. I do not bite my thumb at you, sir, but I bite my thumb, sir."

Gregory interjected, "Do you quarrel, sir?"

Abraham steadied his horse as he answered. "Quarrel sir! no, sir."

"Well, my dude Capulet is as good as yours." Sampson turned to share a grin with Gregory, who seemed nervous.

"No better."

"Well, sir."

Gregory murmured again to the other man, "Say ours is better, someone else in our fam is coming."

Sampson did so. "Yes, ours is better, so suck on that!"

"Liar, liar, pants on fire."

At this, Sampson cried, "Fight these SOBs, if you're true dudes! Gregory, remember to do your thing with the sword."

Abraham and Balthasar's anger were stirred, and soon they were brawling, even Gregory, who naturally wanted to be timid. They drew their swords and ducked and swirled and fought like big boys would do with bigger dogs, until Benvolio of Montague interrupted.

"Put down your swords, fools!" The four did, and soon Tybalt, a Capulet, entered the scene.

"Watch out, Benvolio, for I hate your catchphrase of peace. And beware also, your snivelling cousin, Romeo of Montague, for he is snivelling over your Rosemund." Although Tybalt sneered the words with a disgraceful expression, he knew he had a hint of jealousy in his mind, and quickly changed the subject. He did this in the hard-to-master method of drawing his sword and beating up the others, and the fight continued with the two newcomers.

While a well-meaning citizen was screeching insults at the six men in the afternoon light, Capulet and his Lady came upon the scene. Capulet also saw his (for no particular reason) archenemy , Montague, and his wife. He shouted to draw his sword, but Montague and his own lady denied him, and all but them and Benvolio left the wayside stable, in various states of shabbiness and (in two cases) undress. Montague turned to the younger man. "Who started this quarrel, and why?"

"I saw four men fighting, and came upon them, but then Tybalt came, quite fiery and handsome in the light... to continue. He did so, until she interjected.

"What about Romeo? Have you seen him today? I'm glad he didn't turn up, although I'm sure he would have loved to see Tybalt's ugly face. My son is that kind of idiot."

"Ma'am, I saw him walking this morning." They talked for a few minutes more, before Romeo himself came upon them. Montague excused himself, and was followed by his wife.

"'Lo, Romeo, my dude. What's up?"

Romeo sighed, his blonde, nicely styled hair shivering with dew in the morning air. "I'm just, like, too in love with fair Rosaline. How in the circles of Hell am I going to deal with this?"

"She doesn't like you, does she."

"Nope. I like her, though She totally friend zoned me."

"Romeo, you idiot, I know  that!" (Romeo really had the propensity be be dim).

"Dude, I love her like the sun rises, and you are laughing at me! Dishonour on your sideburns! They're quite nice, actually..."

"Actually, I weep for it. But come on, Romeo..."

"I'm not really Romeo. Romeo is somewhere else, TBH." (No one knew how he did that out loud).

He sighed, and continued. "She is real pretty, though. And she wants to save her virginity. I feel so friend-zoned and we're not even friends."

"Dude, forget Rosaline. There are better peeps around, trust me."

They left, commandeering two horses from the stable, cos they were big boys and they could do what they wanted.

~~

Writing 'Gregory' and 'Sampson' often took multiple tries - they can be really tricky to type fast! The chapters are gonna be quite short, at least in the beginning, as I'm essentially editing scenes direct from the original play.

Tomorrow I'm going camping with my parents and my best friend, as well as a couple of other people. This is the first time my mum has ever actually take any of my friends camping, so I'm really excited :D