I love my dead gay son - Romeo and Juliet AU

2.1 --- Yup, it's the balcony scene

Romeo was really fricking annoyed. And sexually frustrated. And still too dim to tell the difference.

As soon as he was in the night-filled courtyard, filled with posh carriages and antsy horses stamping their feet like wannababe rock stars, he had an idea. He was meant to wait up for Benvolio and Mercutio (although he had doubts that Mercutio was gonna be quick with that drag king), but instead of sitting on the little water fountain, he ran/walked/jogged/locomoted to the fence around the perimeter of the pavement, and searched for an opening of any kind. The first one he found was far to small, and he got covered in leaves for his pains, but the second one could just about fit his slim hips and shoulders, although his plumed mask got lost in the process. He abandoned it in the bush.

He crawled through and came next to a wood-paved path, sheltered from the elements by arbours begging to be released from a huge fanbase of ivy and other creepers, which sounded uncomfortably like what Romeo was doing, he thought. However, he managed to shove the thought to the back of his mind (it was going to explode at this rate), and he turned right, away from the hall, which still blared out it's lights in the wee hours, he estimated.

After a couple of minutes, having had to avoid a drunk trio of women as they stumbled around in a bush, none of them entirely dressed (he had avoided looking), he found what he was looking for. There was a balcony held up by stone or some shit, again covered in creepers, and he found a spot underneath where he could wait, but still here what was happening above (and slightly behind) him.

He waited ten minutes, and started to get the shivers in the cool summer night. He wasn't what anyone would call dressed for cold weather, and it was a clear sky. Romeo didn't care though.

After another five, he heard someone come out onto the balcony. He could see the shadows she threw from the light of her room onto the path. He crept out of his bush.

She paused, but it didn't occur to Romeo that she might be scared. He went to the side of the balcony near the wall and, ignoring the fact he was ruining his clothes (his mother would be very annoyed), wedged himself between the wooden wall and the column, and began to climb.

When he reached the top, he found a helping hand reaching over the stone rails, warm and comforting when he took it. And unusually hairy...

He brushed the grit off his breeches and looked up. Fricking Tybalt was standing in front of him

Tybalt grinned, revealing teeth that were, like, way too perfect. "Dude, Juliet's still with Paris. In case you hadn't noticed."

Romeo sighed like a long-suffering coffee table being attacked with yet another hapless shinbone at three in the morning, and tried to think of something to say that didn't give the thing away. "Bruh, that was the whole point."

"Ok, a, I am not your bruh, Montagoo, and b, then what is? Because I seem to remember the promise of either a sword fight or a battle of wits, and, my dude, this does kind of slightly just so it happens coincidently to be the perfect time for that."

Romeo ran through the possible meanings of Tybalt's words, and settled on the one he liked the sound of the most. "Well, I guess we are alone..."

Somewhere, he could hear Mercutio sniggering. In fact, Romeo had a strong suspicion he was underneath the balcony.

"Alone isn't the fricking point. The point is no one's going to stop us. We aren't at the feast, are we? So uncle pisspot isn't going to go on about guests and merriment."

Romeo stepping back, his body pressing into the railings as he tried to find a way to make this into something else. However, his would-be lover was fed up with his waiting (as well as having an inkling of what Romeo was trying to *suggest*), and he drew his sword with a satisfying clink. The metal sword, don't worry.

Romeo tried to step back again, and nearly went over the edge when the heel of his boot caught on the edge of the stone behind him. He reached to his hip for his own weapon, but he had left it in the hallway at the feast. Tybalt was stepping towards him, not giving a shit about the killing-in-cold-blood thing. He didn't have another option, so he bolted past Tybalt and into the house behind him.

He crashed through the wooden door leading onto the balcony and smashed it shut behind him, but not before Tybalt started ramming against it, and Romeo had to either hold it or run into Juliet's room. He sprinted away from the door, reckoning he was screwed (either way), but his devastatingly attractive opponent staggered against the anti-weight of the wood, and Romeo had a few seconds to get into another room.

He went to the second one on the right of the room, and burst in on a somewhat valentine's-themed room, where Juliet and Paris were making out on a chaise-lounge-what-do-you-call-it. It was getting rather steamy, tbh, and they were under the covers.

Romeo was stuck staring at them (I mean, dude code, Paris!), and Tybalt rushed in, only to also be scarred for life. The couple had looked up by now, and Paris looked like he was about to get up, only to remember something juuuuust before he slid out from under the scarlet blanket.

Romeo hastily averted his eyes, and settled them on Tybalt instead. God, he was a fricking beautiful hunk of dude. Those cheekbones and that mouth... he licked his lips.

Juliet had been silent the whole time, but she saw Romeo's queerbaiting-style stare, and saw it for what it was, unlike the writers of Supernatural, who refuse to acknowledge that Destiel- *clears throat*.

"Oh my God! I ship it!" she squealed. Paris looked at her witheringly, and she ducked under the covers, only to resurface a moment later, saying, "Um, Romeo? This may not be a match made in heaven..." She shifted a glance towards her cousin, who was glowering at Romeo.

"Yeah, I get your point, and you're really pretty, by the way..." He trailed off as he ran away, his arms flailing really random directions and managing to hit Tybalt in the face.

He sprinted through another three rooms, before he found the open air flowing in from an open door. However, he kept going along the gravelled path until he had reached the courtyard outside the hall, where the feast was still in full swing. He had only been gone for twenty minutes.

Benvolio and Mercutio were waiting outside, Mercutio especially looking rather rumpled around the edges. His wig was also in his hand, cos he was Just Too Hot, but both of their masks had stayed on. "Jeez, Bromeo, what took you so long!"

Romeo twisted his aching lips. "Bruh, don't even ask. Let's go."

He sniggered, and Romeo remembered where 'Cutio had been while he was talking to Tybalt. "Dude, seriously, c'mon," he said, sulking and sticking oit his lip.

Benvolio was kinda weirded out, but he ignored it, and they wandered off and into the street, party successfully crashed.

~~

That was a lot longer than I planned it to be. Both the chapters where I haven't quiiiiite been sticking to the script have been. Still, it's fun.

Only a couple of weeks of summer holiday left :( Plus I'm starting my gcses this year, so I'm really freaking out about that as well. If I'm lax on updating once September starts, sorry!

*Dyes everyone's' hair rainbow colours*