I love my dead gay son - Romeo and Juliet AU

3.1 --- Ah

As soon as Romeo had slipped out of the door, he felt alive. It might have been because of the exhilarating feeling of being young and lusty, excitement flowing through his veins, etc. but it was probably more to do with the shocking rain falling in sheets from the heavens. It hadn't occurred to him that it could be drizzling during the date, let alone Romeo practically being able to hear an old man snoring.

Romeo tried walking or approximately 1.4 seconds, before giving up and jumping on the relatively sheltered back of a carriage. Luckily it was goin in the right direction, towards the Capulet mansion, although it hadn't occurred to him to check which way it was going. He sat leaning forwards to shelter his *precious* cargo, and settled in for a long ride.

No sooner than he had settled in for a long ride, he was passing a black iron side gate. It was clearly intended to look random, but there was a sign posted claiming, "The path behind this gate definitely does not lead to the Capulet Mansion, no sir,", which clued even Romeo in that all was not what the designer desperately wanted it to seem.

He hopped off and walked-jogged off the (cobbled) road, and, after a couple of moments of experimenting, climbed the gate, holding his bag in one hand as he swung his leg over the top. He got a couple of odd looks, but Romeo just brushed the rust off himself and walked on. The path was just like the one leading to Juliet, what, last night, and he soon saw apple trees and greenery. With a shimmer of excitement, he darted off the path, cradling his stuff, and into the orchard.

Although it had stopped raining in the time it had taken for him to walk, it was still damp, so he just leant against a tree as he waited. It was only ten to three, but soon he heard a clanking sound, coming towards him. He turned slowly.

It was Tybalt, fine as ever... but what in everloving red fricking hell was the clanking?

As he came closer, Romeo could see it was a sack that the noise came from. Maybe he had a load of rings or something.

He was looking at Romeo with a fierce expression in his eyes and hooded lids. Romeo interpreted it in the only way he could. "Heyyyy, whassup?"

Tybalt stood three metres/six feet/whatevs away from Romeo. Shouldn't he have come closer? He dumped the sack in between them with a stupidly loud, final CLAnK and used his perfect toe to open it.

Shiny metal shit shone out from inside.

Armour. Tybalt had brought armour. This was gonna be wicked.

"Oh cool, you wanna practice duel. That's a good idea, actually, then we can keep away the haters-"

"Dude, no. We are fighting."

Romeo batted his eyelashes in confusion. "We haven't had the big fight, that should come later in the book."

Tyblat sighed at his stupid not-boyfriend. "Me fight you with sword. You fight me with sword. I win with sword. You flipping happy now?"

That was when Romeo realised.

He ran the possibilities through his head. Tybalt could have accidentally scheduled a date and taken advantage of the opportunity to duel. Or it could have been his and Paris' and Juliet's plan all along. Or just Tybalt's. Or maybe this was Capulet's work somehow. Whatever it was, Romeo was tired and excited and horny, and he wanted to get Tybalt off the idea of actually, like, fighting eachother.

Tybalt leant down to pull stuff from the sack, but froze when he saw the ever-so-slightly obvious bag. The one that Romeo had brought with him. "Dahel?"

Romeo shifted his feet nervously, and looked down. "It's - it's, uh... stuff for our date?"

"Our date? Since when was this a date- OOOOooooh."