Bliss

Part 6

That day was the beginning of the end for me, after that day I felt truly numb. The silence was deafening. I'm not sure that makes sense but it was. After Leo had his way with me he dropped me off at my house. I was passed out. He used my key to get into my house, found my room and put me in there and then left, at least that's what I hope happened, sometimes I wonder if my parents found me or something and they decided to just bring me upstairs and hope I didn't remember anything. I really never knew what complete numbness felt like, I mean I know I got annoyed and mad before but now I can't feel anything, it's like I'm on my pills. I think the worst part of my life now is that I know that if I were a normal girl and what Leo did happened to me I would feel the same way, it's worse than blaming it on a mental illness. After that day I started cutting, I did it on my inner thigh because I knew that my mom and my friends would see if I did it on my wrists. It felt like I could feel again, I also felt that I deserved what I was doing to myself. Everyday meant less and less to me as time went on. Leo is dating Charlotte now so everyday I see and talk to him. Everyday he sits between Charlotte and I. Everyday he grabs my thigh and squeezes it. I suffer everyday. I wish I would be able to tell someone without ruining everything. I wish I didn't leave everyone in bliss.