9 months pass and me and RM broke up. He broke up with me and said he just wants to friends and I was 100% okay with that but then my depression got worse and I became suicidal.
I didn't leave the group and they always make me happy but my lying got worse and they think I'm good. Ha, they don't even know I started cutting that's why I wear a jacket and long sleeves all the time. I got the chance to hit the studio and record for my own.
I wanted to debut it today at our concert in New York City. I grab my bag and we go to the stadium and hear all the fans screaming our names. The makeup artist does my makeup and I have black lipstick and a nice ass wing on and a black manicure.
I put my clothes on wait on the couch. I put my headphones and pull my sleeves up higher.
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We go out on stage after everyone is ready and the time comes. "You ready to debut your song?" Jin patted my back and I nodded looking off to the side. He gave me an odd look and sighed. We ran out on stage and performed Fire.
V performed his song Singularity. After he was done it was my turn to go up. "What's up bitches!" I yelled as I got my golden mic. The crowd screamed my name. Sasha! Sasha! Nothing new to me. The music played and I started singing my lyrics. The guys haven't even heard the song yet and I don't give a shit if the lyrics scare them a little I'm just living my fucking life ya know?
Nobody loves me anyways. I let my mind die inside my faze. Its suicidal time has fazed. Shoot em like a BOP in his head. Keeping going, wild wild wild baby! I'd rather die die die, baby!
The crowd sang along after the second verse and I smiled and jumped up and down with the crowd. "Thank you, New York!" I yelled and ran off stage. I grabbed my vape pen and walked past the guys that did not look happy.
My weed guy had called me when I was on stage. "Hello? Where'd you put it? What do you mean they took it? Shit alright, I got your 20 tomorrow as long as I get a new batch. Double it? Bet." I hung up the phone and tossed it to the side.
"What the hell?" Jimin snatched my vape pen out of my hand and I laughed. "Chill. It's just a vape pen no harm no foul." I smiled and reached for my vape pen but he put his arm up higher. "No harm no foul? Are you high?" His face was getting red as he walked closer to me and I just laughed in his face.
"Nope. Vape pens don't give off that effect. Now give it back you goofball." I giggled and put my hand out for him to give it to me. "But weed does right? Why are you doing this to yourself?" He put his arm down and I rolled my eyes at him.
"Is it the break up between you and Namjoon hyung?" He whispered and I put him away. "Hell no! I'm fucking great with or without him. He does not control my fucking mental state. Fuck you!" I pushed passed him and took my vape pen back. No guy will ever take control of my mind. I'm like this because of myself.
