there's my good days and my bad days. and like everyone else, I have those days that are just...meh.
I've been having a lot of meh days. junior year sucks and its mostly because I'm doing IB for all classes. (if you don't know what IB its basically more accelerated classes than AP. no, im not taking them by choice. its a requirement at my school.)
anyway, the homework is draining and time consuming, but manageable. but then I also have that thing where I just look back and kinda hate myself for admitting I had feelings for my crush. but then im like,
hell nO. i am confident enough to express my feelings and if he cannot accept that or be sincere with me then that's on him. but then I see him and im like omg your so cute why can't you care enough ughhhgadjakdaksf
but anyway
there's also the fact that I just care too much about friendships. I cherish them too much and when I feel them slipping away, I get so sad and my day is ruined. now I get why people say to keep your group of friends small. lately I've realized that maybe I should just stick with my best friends and who cares about anyone else? if they don't care about me, then I shouldn't be concerned with their opinions.
and then there's the fact that I get so stuck on my future. will I like it? what if im messing it up already? I know that I have my whole life ahead me and this is the moment that I should be making mistakes. but then I realized that maybe the problem isn't that im making too many mistakes, but that im not making enough.
