u know im kinda glad no one actually reads this book because it just proves how much i overthink when i should just take a breather and chill. anyway, today i decided to erase anything that reminds me of him because i want my feelings for him to change. i finally admitted to myself that despite everything that went wrong, i liked liking him however weird that sounds. it was such a feel-good feeling that i didn't want to get rid of even if it came with all this confusion and regret. but, hopefully, this will be the last time i ever mention him again.
ive been so hard on myself this past year and i absolutely hate it. its like all these years all this work ive done to maintain a healthy state of mind has gone out the window and im stuck feeling insecure and facing all my flaws and i freaking hate it. but as soon as these thoughts come into my head i tell myself, no i've been worse and this is just a bump on the road and things will get better because they always do. ive realised that as much as i always try to see the best in others, im such a pessimist when it comes to myself. so im changing that. i used to be such a positive person and i want to be that way now especially when i know that things can get harder.
on the bright side, i started listening to my sound cloud playlist again and i feel so me and i love it.
