my mum died 3 days after I stabbed her with a cucumber, and she swore that if she died I would never eat another pickle ever again.
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So now I'm homeless, I have nowhere to go bc the house is infested with man eating gherkins (this is fan fiction anything can happen). I didn't have anywhere to go. Dad, Jack and Ben haf all left me because of my obsession with pickles. What was I going to do?
"Hello Luke" I hear a voice say from behind me.
"Belela Throne?" I say.
"No what its Bob" He says.
"Bob the builder? "
" What? no!"
" Jake from Statefarm?"
" BOB DUNCAN OKAY"
"Oh hey Bob, I hope you're not here to exterminaty virginity but I'm not in the mood. I don't have anywhere to live!" I cri.
" You could live with me if you wanted to?" Bobby D says.
"Oh yes bob! Penetrate ny butthole!" I cri out in joy.
twitter-@sextmichael
