AN- I haven't updated in ages but I honestly had no funny ideas :/ so these probably won't be funny chapters from now on as I don't have any funny ideas.
Pickles and I spoke for a while and I learned that we had a lot of things in common. She had stabbed someone with a cucumber too. She hates gherkins and she feels so out of place at school, as none of them are obsessed with pickles like she is. I thought she was great until she said something that really pissed me off.
"I'm the biggest pickle lover in the world," She claimed.
I sarcastically laughed and said "Oh please, I'm the biggest pickle lover."
"No way! I use pickles instead of tampons, I eat pickles 24/7, I go on movie dates with pickles and I gave up my cat for a years supply of pickles!" She shouts.
"Oh yeah? Well I use pickle juice for lube, I lick anything that's green, including the school shithead Michael Cliffords hair, I paint myself to look like a pickle, I just love pickles! I eat pickles everyday, I have a pickle shrine in my locker! I even write damn fanfics about myself and pickles!"
"I love pickles more!" She says and I turn around and ignore her, because I know that I love pickles way more. Jesus, that girl has issues.
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I was still really annoyed at that girl, but I decided to take my mind off it by going to the movies. But before I go I go into Tesco and get some pickles and the dildo Bob asked for.
