Fix you (Harry Styles)

CHAPTER 62

CHAPTER 62

MERCY'S POV

I missed him, I missed being his friend, I missed talking to him, I missed all our stupid and ridiculous conversations, I missed the giggles that escaped our mouths while talking, I missed his voice, I missed his Canadian accent. I missed his eyes, his laugh, his smile, his lips. I missed my bestfriend, I missed us. 

Memories began to flood inside my mind as him and I kept talking and jokling around, memories of us a year ago when he used to make me laugh whenever I got upset, when he used to warn me about my previous dysfunctional relationship with Justin, when he used to tease me whenever I made a typo or said something wrong.

That guy has always been there for me, he's been there to help me lift my head up high, he's been there to push me, to give me hope, to see the light through the darkness, he made me feel beautiful whenever I felt so ugly, and so worthless. He was the ideal friend that everyone needed, god was I so damn lucky to have him in my life. Never have I so thankful towards someone in my life, I have always wanted to show him my gratitude for everything he's done for me, but I couldn't. Nothing had been enough, he was my savior almost two yeas ago. Without him, I would have probably taken my own life. Zachary was the person who had saved me from being a suicidal person, he was the moon that lightened my path at night. He saved me while I was digging my own grave. He did everything he could to build what Justin had destroyed, two years ago. 

He has done so much for me, yet I have done absolutely nothing for him. 

I opened up for that man, I told him my darkest and deepest secrets, I let him in, I told him everything, and I gave him the permission to try and save me. It was odd, because so many people that I have known in real life, my family, my friends, my teaches...And so many other people I have met online, but I only opened up to him, for some unknown reason, I told him everything about me, I told him about my insecurities, my unhealthy relationship, everything... 

And it all makes me feel so guilty, and so upset. Because I've never done anything for him, i've done nothing but hurt his feelings, over and over and over again. 

But then again, I shouldn't be blaming myself, because, Zach has never let me in. I remember I once told him that he was the happiest person I knew, and well, he didn't seem to agree with me. 

I was certain that he had some problems, as well. I knew he had stuff going on in his life that made him upset, but he kept smiling, he kept pretending as if he were perfectly happy. 

Whenever I asked him if he was ok, he would instantly say he's doing fine. And it all feeds my curiosity even more, why has he always been so closed when I told him everything? 

I wanted to do the same thing for him, I wanted to return the favor, but it seemed as if he never wanted me to help him, he never wanted anyone to help him. It made me question our friendship at times, because true friends share secrets and they open up to each other. He made me feel as if I wasn't trust-worthy.