Fix you (Harry Styles)

CHAPTER 38

CHAPTER 38

MERCY'S POV

“Love does not obey our expectations; it obeys our intentions.” ~Lloyd Strom

To say that love hasn’t obeyed my expectations would be the understatement of the century.

I have not been lucky in love. I’ve been blessed with some amazing moments over the years, but somehow have managed to choose partners who did not want what I wanted, did not feel what I felt, and did not want to walk beside me into a future together.

I have really had to sit with this and try and figure out what part of this was my doing, and how to change it, because this year I once again chose a partner who was not walking with me. Except this time not only was he not walking with me but he was subtly trying to kick my feet from under me every chance he got.

I once again entered into a relationship desperate to find love and instead found a beautiful disaster. Love is a blessing, this we know. Unrequited love is toxic, and it can eat you alive.

Falling in love can be a slippery slope, regardless of any protective barriers we may have built. It can ease in like a light a mist that settles itself beautifully over your life, or it can blindside you.

Often we fall in love with a person before we have fully gotten to know them. By this point it’s too late—you’ve already stretched your heart for someone capable of bruising it. This is what love requires: utmost vulnerability

 and trust. Hopes and expectations rise along with the awareness that it can slip away.

Love is elastic. It stretches and retracts and changes shape constantly. It is very uncertain. One day you are over the moon and the next disillusioned.

The elastic can break. You can re-tie it, but there is now a knot. Suddenly that perfect perception of the other person is a little bit tainted. Something rocked the pedestal. Sometimes we can recover from this, sometimes we can’t. 

Loyalty and commitment teach us that we are not to walk away from people that we love.

However, I decided to change that rule, and walk away from Harry. I have given him my loyalty, love and commitment. Yet he has given me nothing but absolute and utter pain. And that was why I chose to walk away.

It's been 2 days since I have moved in with Zach, and left Harry.

I haven't seen the green-eyed boy in two days, and it was killing me already. It was ripping me apart, shattering me. I haven't seen him or heared from him for fourty-eight hours.

I've been sick since the day I slept outside, underneath the pouring rain, and Zach has been taking care of me.

"Morning beautiful." He said, as he walked inside my room with food on a plate in his hands and medicine.

"Good morning." I replied, flashing a smile showing my gratitude and appreciation.

"You have to eat and take your medicine." He said, as he sat on the edge of my bed.

"I will, go. You're going to be late for your first class." I said, as I sat up.

"Alright, I'll call you later." He said as he stood up and left the apartment.

HARRY'S POV

It has been exactly two days since the last time I've seen Mercy. She hasn't come to campus, and she was no where to be found.

Anxiety and worry hit me, making me freak out as the possibility of her leaving England for good crossed my mine. She would never skip class if she didn't have to, therefore something wrong must have happened.