dedicated to @TheBlankPaige for all the beautiful comments that reminded me why I put my story up on wattpad. I love you and I love your username <3
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"What's up, John Bender?" is the greeting Alec gives me as I sit down at our table.
Well, I guess news of my heroic exit spread through the school.
"What did she say?" laughs Ava.
"Well, it started with Skunkle."
"And made it all the way down to man hands, thank you very much," finished Livvy, glaring daggers into Val's head. He salutes.
"Did you have a nice chat with the principal?" teases Cole, grinning playfully at me. "Did you tell him we said hi?"
"Normally, I'd be so mad at you," adds Livvy, tearing open her bag of chips. "But I'm too excited to hear your news."
"Yeah, spill Addie!" exclaims Ava. "It's been driving me crazy the whole day!"
"Well, it already finished driving Addie crazy and apparently even parallel parked in her brain," says Val, bringing the topic of discussion back to my Skunkfight.
I look around the cafeteria and spot Maddie. She's sitting all by herself in the far end of the cafeteria. In the table next to us, Mason has his arm draped around Heather as she chats away merrily to her friends. By the way Maddie keeps glancing at the happy couple, I'd say she's not completely over Mason yet. She turns back to her book, sinking down on her lonely seat like she's waiting for the ground to swallow her up.
My heart goes out to the poor lonely redhead. Well, never mind. If all goes well, I can just ask Maddie to join us for lunch tomorrow.
"Okay," I begin, twirling my hair around my finger nervously. "Before you guys cart me off to the looney bin, hear me out okay."
Everyone nods at me with wide eyes, their interest clearly piqued.
"So," I say, my voice becoming clearer as I launch into my speech. "This weekend, I went on a retreat with my dad. And I met this guy-"
"Is this what you wanted to tell us?" squeals Ava.
"Yeah, is it?" asks Alec grumpily.
"No, guys-"
"So are you guys dating?" asks Livvy, shooting Alec a look I can't quite decipher.
They all look at me expectantly and I take advantage of the silence to explain gently to them.
"I am the f*ck not dating!"
"Oh," Ava gives me a sheepish look. "Go on, then."
I sigh and take a deep breath, getting ready to start my presentation again because my moronic friends have the attention span of a freaking goldfish.
"So how many of you've heard of karma?"
They all raise their hands, which deflates my enthusiasm a little bit because I had a whole explanation planned out.
I had a big finish and everything. I was going to point to the sky and say "Shame!"
Well, it's probably a good thing they already know.
"You know when a person has good karma, the universe will reward them. And if they have bad karma-"
"The universe will stick a spiked dildo up their ass," interrupts Alec impatiently.
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