fly away with me

idk how to kill myself

It's been about two months, and nine Thursdays have passed. No sign of Wyatt. I'd tried my best to forget about him, instead hanging out with Sammy, the mystery boy from the bar. Yes, I finally learned his name. He was actually a pretty cool guy, and I found that it was nice having a friend to be able to talk to.

Today I'd thought I'd bring Sammy with me to Camp Nax. He'd keep me company while I waited and waited for the man I missed so much, to magically show up.

"You go here every Thursday?" Sam questioned. My eyes kept on the road, pushing down on the breaks as we neared the destination. I glance over at him as the car came to a stop.

"Yup." I replied to his question. He gave me a capricious frown, getting out of the car. We both began to stroll up the mountain, only the birds chirping and trees rustling to be heard.

"Why?" Sammy inquired, breaking the awkward silence. I sighed, wondering if this trip would turn into an interrogation.

"I'm waiting for someone." I yawned, taking a peek at the time on my phone. 5:32 pm, it read. We were a little late, but it's not like Wyatt would be here anyways.

Silence filled the air again.

"Wyatt?" I could tell by his voice that something had been bothering him. I nodded my head, watching as the sun began to set in the distance. It was truly a pretty sight, but not the prettiest thing I'd ever seen. That spot was reserved for Wyatt. "You can't dwell on this forever y' know?" I caught a glimpse of his face. He was staring at me. I turned completely towards him.

"I know." I agreed with him, my heart aching at the fact that I'd have to move on at some point.

"There's plenty more fish in the sea." He let a small chuckle escape his mouth. I smiled small. He licked his lips, his eyes set on my own.

"Yeah.." I whispered as he leaned in, closing his eyes . My eyebrows furrowed inwards, tightly, and it suddenly felt like I was suffocating.

It was only when his lips landed on my own, that I realized how truly held up I was on Wyatt. It felt disgusting, I felt disgusting. It came to me that I most likely won't be happy ever again. His head moved back after a minute of him kissing my unmoving lips. Sammy looked at me with a face that was asking if I liked it. My chest was tight.

"What the fuck?"

I spin around at the voice, rubbing my eyes before standing up, making sure it wasn't just my imagination. It wasn't. I'd completely forgotten about Sammy, leaving him to spectate as I approached the curly headed boy, my bottom lip trembling.

"What is wrong with you?" I hadn't noticed the scowl on his face, the dejected look he had on. My expression quickly went cold, my heart went cold. I'd forgotten of the event that had happened just moments before. I noticed Sammy passing by, muttering a quick 'bye' before leaving completely.

"Wy.." My voice was hoarse, chest heavy. I felt my eyes began to water. "I can explain-"

"I don't want your explanation, I'm leaving." My breath got caught in my throat, and I couldn't move. It's like my body was frozen.

Move, I told myself. Stop, I yelled. But nothing came out.

"Don't leave me again!" I managed to let out a raspy shout that got him to stop.

"Please." I whimpered, running and grabbing his hand. He yanked it away, looking at me with a hard expression. I gave him a pensive look, the water falling out of my eyes as if rain from a cloud. I stumbled backwards, my eyes spinning, and brought my hands up to the sides of my heads. I shut my eyes right, letting out a piercing sob as I squatted down into the ground. I was finally broken completely. Every piece of me was shattered.

Wyatt picked up a piece of me, putting it back together with another as he sat down. "Shut up." He said bluntly. I gazed up at him, his eyes avoiding my own. "Explain. Everything from start to finish." I quickly took a seat next to him, fiddling my thumbs in my lap. I began to count the freckles on his face, making sure there were just as many now as there was before. "Max, are you gonna start talking or not." I averted my attention away from his freckles.

"Yeah." I couldn't help but let a small smile creep onto my lips as I noticed the rosy tint on Wyatt's cheeks.

I explained everything, starting with the day that it all took place. Wyatt told me that he found me drunk when he got home, and when I whispered Noah as I pushed him down onto the bed. I quickly cleared it up, telling him that Noah had died, and I'd drank a whole bottle of tequila seconds before. Then today, I told him about the bar incident with Sammy and I, to which he frowned and said, "So you kissed another man."

"Your telling me you didn't see other people during this whole entire time I've been gone?" I asked, squinting my eyes at him. Wyatt turned his head.

"Well yeah, but.. It wasn't like I was happy." He   mumbled the last part. I smiled.

"What was that?" I say. I had clearly heard what he said, but I thought I'd make him say it again. A blush crept up onto Wyatt's cheeks.

"I said I wasn't happy." He raised his voice slightly to which I chuckled at. "What's so funny?" He frowned.

"Nothing, I wasn't happy either." I used my hand as a pillow for my head, staring at Wyatt.
He smiled. Oh my god, he fucking smiled. I had forgotten oh utterly adorable this boy was.

It was enough to bring me out of the miserable state I was in. Enough for each one of my shattered pieces to be brought back together.