What's My Name?

Crispy Cracker

I tried y'all. I really did. And when I say I tried, I mean I tried sis.

Every excuse I could muster. This man would not give up. After a week of him and I really was starting to wonder if there was something that could stop him. I even tried the period excuse!

Brainstorming more ideas to get him off my dick, my phone vibrated in my lap. I scrunched my face up when I saw who it was. Speak of the devil.

Crispy Cracker: Hey boo 😘😘

Me: Aren't you teaching a class?

Crispy Cracker: They're watching a vid...im still a little phazed out from hanging out wiht Des last night

He told me that he was hanging out with his wife...right? Maybe the all hung out together and...why am I making excuses for this man?

Me: Ah. What's the video about

Crispy Cracker: This supervillain named Adolf Hitler...pretty nasty guy :/

Me: You remind me of him in a way 😜

He had been texting me back to back, but he suddenly stopped. Was this the answer? Use his powers against him?

Victoria used Hitler! It was very effective!

I felt like the worst Batman villain alive.

***

I spent all day researching horrible persons throughout history. Ivan the Terrible, Joseph Stalin, Pol Pot, Ted Bundy, the works. I was gonna drop the hints randomly, picking him apart little by little, psychologically. Because all women know that picking a man apart mentally will fuck him up way more than slashing his tires.

Before going to practice I ran into Bernie. He was usually gone by this time, but for some reason he was still wondering about the halls.

"Mr. Mack, dressed in black." I yelled at him, his smile growing wide upon seeing me. "What are you still doing at school? Don't you have to go pick up your sister?"

Bernie laughed and threw his thumb behind him.

"Just saying some final goodbyes. Mrs. Christian wanted me to stop by her class so she could give me a recommendation letter."

Our conversation continues on while we walk, the smile never disappearing off my face. As we turn the corner to the gym, a deep voice rumbles behind me.

Oh fuck it's Zeus, the mighty asshole. Or Pimmit, for short.

"Why aren't you in the gym yet? Practice has started."

As Pimmit scolds me, Bernie takes his leave.

Good on him. Wouldn't want to see one of my best friends hanging from a tree, now would we?

"Why aren't you at practice, Mr. Pimmit? You would've known I wasn't there if you were there."

His face twitches as he tries to hold back a smile. He jokingly puts his hands on his hips and purses out his lips.

"Well I just assumed that you weren't coming to practice. You know you'd get in trouble for not telling me so."

I furrow my brow and look him up and down in the most serious way I could.

"My culture is not your attitude, Mr. Pimmit."

He chuckles as I turn away. Maybe this relationship would find it's way after all.

***
"Fifty? You want me, Victoria," I motion up and down my body. "To do fifty push ups? For being late?"

Pimmit and Desmond shrugged. It was like they were brothers from different mothers. Only, one mother raised her son to be a little more racist than the other.

"Don't be late, and we won't have this problem."

Getting down into position, I look up at them with anger.

"I feel like I'm about to get shot in the back of my head, the way you two are looking at me."

After reaching twenty I pause and promptly colapse to the ground. I just didn't have the strength in me.

"Get up, you have thirty more to go. You should've thought about this pain while you were out skipping practice." Desmond whispered spitefully near my ear.

Why was he so concerned? It's not like I did anything to him.

Pimmit had left to go help the rest of the coaches with practice, and I guess since Desmond didn't want there to be another "situation", he left himself in charge of me.

With my head in my hands, my words came out muffled.

"I was ten minutes late for Christ's sake." I sat up and looked him straight in his eyes. "Isn't there some sort of first offense type thing in place?"

"No. Because you should take responsibility for your actions." His voice seemed to become aimed directly at me. There was a hidden venom in his voice, and it bit me each time another word left his lips. "No matter if it's the first time, the third time, or the last time, Victoria. Take responsibility."

"Why don't you get your lanky self down here and do fifty push ups, since you're so humble?"

"Sure. Right after you do your fifty."

I groan, my eyes rolling so far into the back of my head that I could see my brain. As I slowly push myself to continue, Desmond starts to bless me with his white guy wisdom. Sarcasm included.

"Spread your fingers out more. It'll help balance out your weight. And when you come up keep your arms straight. The slower you go, the more it'll hurt."

That last sentence brought back so many memories from the last week that I felt a tingle in my loins just thinking about it.

"Stamina is a big part about being an athlete, Victoria. And it certainly comes in handy later on in life." Desmond takes a pause to let his words slither their way into my ears. How thoughtful of him. "I should know. My wife has me doing so much around the house now, it makes me wonder how hard it must be on her."

Oh my god. Why is everyone sharing their life with me? Can't you guys afford therapists?

"Fifty. Fifty Mr. Desmond. Fifty." I pant, my arms screaming at me in a language I didn't understand.

"Great. Do you want a cookie?"

Yes.

"No."

"The way you did those push ups, I wouldn't give you one anyway."

What is up with this nigga? He gives zero fucks and has zero chill? Like seriously.

"Um... Imma get going."

Practice ended on a relatively high note, so when I began to walk home I didn't have one bad thought on my mind.

My phone buzzed as I reached the house, the text from an unknown number.

Unknown: Stay anyway from my man, or else.

An empty threat.

What a treat. Now his wife has my number, and no doubt knows who I am. She probably got it out of his phone too. Had she seen the texts? I told him to delete them every night before he went go bed.

The phone buzzed once again, quicking my heart rate.

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"NOOOOOOOOOO!"