What's My Name?

Don't Drink the Kool-Aid

"...And now I'm pregnant." I look at her solemnly. Her face was straight and nonchalant.

"When do I get to meet him?"

Oh no. Nope. They will so totally geek out. I can't have that.

"Well surprising enough, Rudy goes to church with his wife every Sunday, so you can probably meet him later on today." I glance at the wall clock my mom got me because she didn't want me to 'lose the art of telling the time', and see that it was about 6 am in the morning. "And while you unpack your bags or whatever I'll take my pregnant ass a well-deserved nap,"

I pick up the puppy and flip him on his stomach. Rubbing his belly, he does the cute little foot thing and I laugh.

"And I'm gonna take this little nignog with me."

________________________________✍🏽

When I finally decide to get out of bed, I smell food. Or maybe the baby smelled food and she wanted some. Or maybe we can agree to disagree and just say that we both smelled food, now we hungry.

"Aye yo cousin," I call from my room. I hear plastic rattling around and then a muffled questioning of summons. "What yo light skin ass in the kitchen making?"

"Your sleepy self a plate. Stay in there, I'll come to you."

When she comes into the room I see that she had ordered from Legend's Grill. And like the Queen I deserved to be treated as, she brought me three plates of food on a tray.

"No eggs, grits, or pancakes. Just the stuff you like." She places the food in front of me and I laugh.

How much was all of this?

But most importantly, how was I going to move after eating all of it?

Hashbrowns, french toast, bacon, sausage patties and links, breakfast burrito, blueberry pancakes, and to top it all off? Orange juice.

She was a goddess.

After eating as much as I possibly could, I rolled over on the bed and began to doze back off to sleep. Sadly, the world isn't a very fair place, so my phone begins to ring...on the other side of the bed.

"Pimmit? Oh god, what does he want?" I answer the phone as positive as I can, but it was hard when I barely wanted to move. "Good morning, Rudy."

"I seem to have caught you at a bad time."

Gosh, he sounds even whiter on the phone. How the fuck is that even possible?

"Why do you say that?"

He chuckled lightly and says something off to the side of the phone. He called me. And here he is, having a conversation with somebody else.

"You just used my first name. You only do that when you're being serious or mad at me." He pauses and seems to talk to somebody else again. I was being to fall asleep. "Anyway, whether or not you're mad at me, Marie and I are coming by after church. She wants to see you before you pop."

"Okay. Is that all?" My head hit the pillow, and reality started to fade. He had five more seconds before my eyes closed.

"Short-tempered much? I'll have to fix that when I come by." He teased. I really hoped he wasn't anywhere near the church.

"Shut up and go repent."

When the phone hangs up I roll back over to go to sleep. As I started dozing off, I had the faintest feeling that something was wet in the bed.

Did I spill some orange juice?

Lifting up the covers to reveal that I had, I waddle my way out of my room and lay on the couch.