What's My Name?

:/

"...Then he made a mistake and put the barbeque sauce bottle up Puckter's ass. The next day, Puckter was walking around the school like a goddamn penguin!" James and Pimmit begin to roar with laughter, and tears stream from my eyes.

"Mr. Puckter? No. Not...not Pukcter! You're lying to me!" I wipe my tears and my stomach begins to hurt from how hard I was laughing. "God, I would have killed to have seen that!"

James shakes his head and slaps his knee.

Nice.

"Shit, the video got like a million views on the first day on Facebook... I don't see how you could have missed it."

"It's been crazy down here Rudy. Getting a place to stay in, classes, studying. God knows how stressed out I am." I take the joint and put it up to my mouth. "But I can't complain about having too much on my plate when my goal was to eat."

James slaps me on my back, sending the joint flying onto the rug. Rudy hurries to grab it, James laughing his lips off the whole time.

"Damn Jim, you tryna start a fire or what?!" I say through tears. I told myself almost three years ago to never smoke again with them and look what happened.

Arson.

"Whatever bitch. Tell us about your professors. Fucking any of them yet?" James stretches out in the chair and places his socks on the table. The glass table.

"Nope. Put your motherfucking feet down, nigga. I know you higher than an angel in heaven but imma need you to keep your dusty ass, bout to be up in church cause they so damn holy, socks off my damn table."

They both stare at me in silence, trying their best to suppress their laughter. Looking at them in all seriousness, I hold my face.

It's going down bitches.

"Damn. Okay, it's like that, huh?" James leans in and whispers fiercely in my ear. "In need of some serious dick?"

I shudder at his tone. God, I hated that both of them could make me feel this way.

Gay people are magical beings.

Smiling smugly, James walks over to sit with Rudy. I had to admit, Rudy looked a little weird without his long hair, but the short hair kinda suited him.

I watch in anticipation as James leans over whispers in Rudy's ear, Rudy's smile growing from ear to ear.

I didn't like the way that this was going.

But I did like the way this was going.

They both simultaneously rose from the couch and approached me. Standing over me, I smile up at them.

"What are you two white devils planning?"

Rudy gets a fake look of shock on his face, but it seems to last a little too long.

I look at him inquisitively, and soon my smile quickly fades as Rudy collapses over top of me.

"Welp. That's not good."

Yeah, no shit James.