never know | fillie

10

i can't hurt her
finn

i lay in bed that night, thinking of millie. the truth is, i want be friends with her, but i can't, i am scared. i'm scared she will want to be something more. and if we ever did become something more, i know i would end up hurting her, and i can't hurt her. i never get feelings towards girls, but millie, millie is different. i feel attracted towards her, i want to speak to her, i want to learn more about her, but i can't bring myself to do it.

i go out that night to meet up with my friends wyatt and sophia. they are dating so i always end up third wheeling, but i didn't mind.

"you look stressed, finn" sophia says as we sit outside the bar.

"i'm not" i say

"you are such a shit liar" wyatt says while laughing.

"i'm not lying!" i fire back.

"yes, you are" sophia says calmly.

"just tell us what is on your mind" wyatt says.

"i'm sorry, but are you two fucking therapists now or something?" i argue back.

"it's a girl" sophia says.

"wait what? since when were you guys having a kid" i say with a smirk.

"no you dumbass, you are stressed about a girl" wyatt says angrily.

"am i fuck" i say while taking a drag from my cigarette.

"stop lying to yourself" sophia says as her eyebrows furrow.

"finn, are you seriously still avoiding relationships with girls because of your dad?"

wyatt says.

"yes, i am" i mutter.

"why? it's stupid" sophia blurts out.

"no it's not" i growl.

"yes it is" she fires back.

"you wouldn't understand" i growl, before storming off.

millie's pov
it is the end of the school day and i am waiting for my mum to pick me up as per usual. i check my phone for texts or calls from her but she doesn't contact me. i wait for what feels like forever, she still doesn't arrive. suddenly, i hear a familiar voice from behind.

i turn around to see finn, he is wearing a black sweatshirt with skinny jeans and his vans. he looks gorgeous.

"millie? what are you still doing here?" finn asks.

"uh- i was waiting for my mum but she still hasn't turned up" i respond. "why are you here?"

"detention" he mumbles.

"of course" i mutter.

he shrugs and then walks off towards his car and turns on the engine. when i think he is about to drive off he suddenly rolls down his window.

"uh, do you want a lift?" he asks.

i nod and get into his car.

"so, you do actually care" i say while smirking.

"i wouldn't say that, babe" he laughs.

babe? what the fuck

"hm, is babe my new nickname or something?" i ask.

"nah, just that one time" he says in response.

"ok, finnie"

"finnie? what the hell is that?"

"finnie, is a nickname"

"well no shit"

"i know you like the nickname"

"yeah, you think that"

i laugh softly at her nickname, which makes her turn and smile at me, and i smile back. all of a sudden she holds my hand, i flinch at her sudden actions. i hold her hand for a few seconds, it felt right. but i then pull my hand away. she looks down at her hands and twiddles her fingers around. i felt bad, but i can't give her the wrong idea. she ignores me the rest of the ride and when we arrive to her house she jumps out the car and doesn't say anything to me. she only flips me off instead.

millie's pov
i was angry at him, i don't understand what i did for him to hate me so damn much. i storm up to my bedroom with tear filled eyes and sit on the floor against my bed. my window happens to face the street, and that's when i see him. he is still sat there in his car. but he was swearing loudly, then he punches his steering wheel in frustration and drives off. my eyes widen at his actions.

why was he so angry?