Eternal Love

Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Lucy
May 2018

I sit on the floor in a restroom of Xavier University's gymnasium trying to slow my breathing.

"It's okay. You'll be okay. There is nothing to be afraid of. You're nervous but there is no danger. There is nothing that will hurt you. The truth will finally set you free. No more pain to hold onto. No more pain to hold onto. No more pain to hold onto." I whisper to myself as I take deep, slow breaths.

When I have my breathing under control, I wash my hands at the sink, put my black graduation gown back on, leave the restroom, and walk to the stage where I will be giving a speech in less than an hour. All of the graduates are waiting in the hall and their families have been filling in seats for at least three hours. I smile as I look at my family sitting off to the left side of the stage. They had been here for an hour now in their roped off section.

"Miss Tresvant, thank you again for doing this on such short notice." Dr. Verret walks over to me to shake my hand.

"Doctor Verret, I told you to call me Lucy. And I also told you that I'm honored to be here— short notice or not." I wave my hand at him to dismiss his apology.

"All the same, I'm happy you're here. And your family. Your cousin-in-law Chance is at Dillard right now, correct?" Dr. Verret asks.

"Yeah," I roll my eyes. "Egh. Dillard. It's a disgrace. My cousin is upset that she had to miss this. I can't stop her from supporting her husband. She's just quietly seething the entire time being a XULA Alumna and all."

"I completely understand." Dr. Verret nods before walking over to his faculty members and board of trustees.

Within a couple of minutes, the graduates start walking in with smiles and waves as their families shout and scream for them. I take note of a friend of Annie, Lynn, and Andra's. They had friends who graduated high school with them last year who's cousin is now graduating from Xavier. I told them that I would find something special to do for the cousin and the friends.

I continue my breathing as I wait to be introduced by Doctor Verret.

"...and now, without further ado, please give a warm welcome to recording artist and 2013 XULA Alumna, Lucile Wallace-Tresvant." Doctor Verret says and I get a thunderous amount of applause as everyone, who is able to, stands.

I shake the hands of the board of trustees and faculty members that are closest to the podium. I give Doctor Verret a hug before he lets me have the stand.

"Can I start of with God is good?" I say and I get the response 'All the time'. "And all the time?" 'God is good' is thrown back at me and I smile. "Ain't nothing like being welcomed by your brothers and sisters, am I right? Brothers and sisters of blood or race or school pride. It doesn't matter because we're all family here. Can I get an amen?"

"Amen, sister chile!" I hear Wally shout and I have to hold in my eye roll.

"Because we're family I'm going to tell you all some truths today, is that okay?" When I get the necessary affirmation form the audience, I smile. "I first want to thank God for allowing me to be here today. No day is promised but with Him love and everlasting life is promised. With Him, I have no fear of what tomorrow may bring and what I have to face. With Him, I can do all things," I pause. "Except when I thought I couldn't. Today, I want to tell y'all my truth so that you can walk in your truth from here on out. My truth is dark— I almost didn't make it to see today. So I need y'all to listen and listen real good, okay?"

I take a deep breath. "This time last year, my baby girl Lola was four months old. I was touring with my sister and cousin. I was away from home and family— this was nothing new. I've toured my entire life. But it was new— I was newly engaged and away from my fiancé. He took care of our daughter for an entire month. Being away from her was one the hardest things I had ever experienced at that time. When I finally had her, I put everything I had into her. I had to juggle being an artist, being a mom to a newborn, and being a fiancée all while trying— and ultimately failing— to take care of myself.