Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
✄
Jade's pov
I reach Dinger's house and completely regret not just waiting for Lainie. I think to turn around but my thought get cut off by the door opening.
You can knock ya know. The voice spoke.
" right, sorry. " I look up at the red head in front of me. But it wasn't Dinger . Standing there was a girl. I have never seen before. Maybe they are related. Or maybe he is with her. I feel a pit of jealousy build up in me. I feel so overwhelmed that I start crying again.
Hey, are you okay, are you here for Dinger? She says kindly. I look back up at her and wipe my tears away.
" uhm yeah but it's fine " I reply then go to turn around but then I hear another voice. Dinger's voice.
Hey Rachel, who's at the door. Dinger says walking up to us.
Jade, what are you doing here? I turn back to glance at him.
" Oh it's nothing, I should uh go " I reply to him then look back down at my feet.
No, no come in. He says and 'Rachel' gets out of the door way. Hesitantly I step inside.
Jade, this is my sister Rachel, Rachel this is my friend Jade! Dinger says enthusiastically. Sister. I feel a rush of relief. But why.
" Hello, it's nice to meet you " I say looking at Rachel and putting my hand out for her to shake.
You too. She responds then takes my hand, shaking it.
Here Jade come. Dinger takes my hand and pulls me up the stairs. We enter what I assume is his room and he gestures for me to take a seat.
I plop down on the bed and he shuts the door. He comes and takes a seat beside me.
So , why were you crying. He says then puts his hand on my knee in a comforting way.
" I fell " I lie . Why do I always use falling as an excuse.
Jade, I might not be smart but I know the difference between a truth and a lie, I care about you that's why I want to know what's wrong. Dinger speaks in a serious tone.
" I c can't tell you " I stutter out. I can't tell him. I can't let him in.
Yes you can, Jade I really care about you. He says looking into my eyes. He makes it seem so believable. That this amazing boy would care for a damaged girl.
" No you don't, no one does, everyone hurts me " I exclaim trying my hardest not to cry again.
I won't hurt you , and I do, I truly do. He whispers and embraces me.
" Yes you will " I say while gently sobbing
I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I hurt you. He says and lifts my chin up so I'm facing him.
" You wouldn't have to forgive yourself if you weren't upset with yourself in the first place " I reply looking down.
I would be beyond upset with myself, you are the most beautiful girl I've ever met, in every single way. He replies while resting his hand on my shoulder.
Will you tell me about your life, I can help you. He speaks gently.
Don't give in
" I don't know how love feels, I don't know what it feels like to be truly happy. I was brought up in a broken home. My dad didn't say happy birthday to me today but he did say that 17 years ago I ruined his life. I ruined many others life just by existing. You, Lainie and Bobby were the first to wish me a happy birthday in the past 8 years, I'm damaged. I've pushed away every boy that has ever tried with me. They didn't care though. They just wanted in my pants. I only know what loneliness feels like. My dad is an abusive alcoholic and my mom is god knows where. The past two days my dad didn't even let me go upstairs when I got home. He beat me and told me to leave. I've felt more hate then love in my life. So I do know what hate feels like. I can confirm I hate my life. I hate myself. I hate my parents. I hate this world. I want to escape. I want to be normal. I'm worthless. I'll never be good enough for anyone. I'm not worthy of love."
