Scars and Stones: Chapter 1 (Klaine)

Chapter 19

Kurt's sobs began to soften, but the gnawing emptiness was beginning to stir even tighter in his heart. Quinn may not be one of his closest friends, but that didn't stop him aching for her. He pulled his head out of Blaine's shoulder and leaned back against the head rest, breathing deeply. Blaine on the other hand, was welling up, but the tears couldn't quite fall anymore. The shock of Quinn being snatched away in such a cruel manner numbed his nerves. He couldn't feel anything, just this dullness of emotions. It was like there was a barrier stopping him from feeling anything. He couldn't comprehend the extent of how his actions had led to this. This, violent ending for Quinn, and most probably for himself and Kurt. His heart stopped in anguish, and turned to Kurt.

"I'm - I'm so sorry." He knew it was feeble and pathetic, and Kurt should never talk to him again, but it was the only thing he could think of. He couldn't bear this guilt, but there was no way to dispel it. Blaine had never hated himself so much.

Kurt turned to look Blaine fully in the eyes, and Blaine was taken aback by the intensity of emotion in them. He may feel numb, but Kurt was in so much pain, he felt enough for the both of them. His eyes were red-rimmed, tears still forming but on a smaller scale now. Blaine knew what was coming now - the blame he deserved. He deserved to be yelled at, hit at, tormented. He deserved everything he got.

"You've got nothing to be sorry about." Kurt said quietly, looking intently at him. He could see Blaine visibly recoil in shock at his words. Kurt knew Blaine; he knew he was killing himself inside. Blaine had to know none of this was his fault. Of course it wasn't, how could it be?

Blaine opened his mouth to answer, but he couldn't form the words. He closed his eyes, overcome with guilt, and grief for Quinn. He faced away from Kurt, not able to look his boyfriend in the eye any longer. Thinking that Kurt would ignore him completely, he curled into foetal position on the seat, and buried his head into his knees. The tears wouldn't fall even now. Crying would offer release, but instead he was stuck in his own head, with no escape.

Kurt saw Blaine trying to ignore him and it broke him apart. He scooted over to Blaine and wrapped his arms around him as best he could. He rested his head on Blaine's shoulder, and whispered reassurances into his ear.

"Blaine, none of this is your fault. You've got to believe me. We'll find a way out of this." Even though he was raw inside, Kurt still had the strength to go on. Quinn may be dead, but Blaine was still alive. That had to count for something.

Blaine didn't react to Kurt's words. He remained clamped in his curled up position. He couldn't believe Kurt was trying to reassure him, after everything he had done. Kurt could see his words were getting him nowhere. He moved his head off Blaine's shoulder and began to trail small butterfly kisses from his hairline down to the base of his neck. Blaine, feeling Kurt on him, lifted his head, but didn't turn around to face him.

"Don't do this to yourself Blaine. It's killing me to see you like this." At Kurt's words, Blaine felt the tears return to his cheeks as he began to open up. The dam had been broken. Kurt stopped kissing his neck and placed his head on Blaine's shoulder again.

"Please, Blaine, look at me." Slowly and obediently, Blaine turned around in Kurt's arms, but didn't meet his eyes. He felt Kurt's hand under his chin, gently lifting his head upwards. His eyes met Kurt's. In that instant, Blaine felt desperation suddenly snap in him. He held his gaze for a few moments, before launching forward, catching Kurt's lips in a clumsy, heart-wrenching kiss. He had the sudden urge to feel Kurt around him, to blank out the rest of the world. Nothing was real to him except Kurt. Kurt fell back onto the seat in surprise. He was still holding onto Blaine as he fell back, which in turn caused Blaine to collapse on top of him. Blaine slumped onto Kurt, and quickly tried to sit up, speaking apologetically.

"I'm so sorry, that was so out of order! I shouldn't have lunged like that! Oh God -" He was stopped from sitting up by Kurt pulling him back down by the front of his shirt. Surprised, he allowed Kurt to hold him to his chest, but remained wary.

"Blaine, don't ever be sorry for kissing me." They lay there on the back seat, their legs tangled and their bodies rising and falling in sync. Blaine, with his head on Kurt's chest, could feel his boyfriend's heart beat as if it were his own. He let the tears fall, his heart now aching for Quinn, mourning her death and the young life that had been so unfairly extinguished. He felt Kurt stroke the back of his head, while his other hand rubbed Blaine's back in concentric circles. Blaine began to feel breathless.

"I'm - I'm so sorry for running away. I thought it would be better if I was out the picture. I thought it would protect you, and your friends. But, I just made it worse." He tried to hold down sobs, but they fought back with a vengeance. He felt Kurt's arms tighten around him, pulling him even closer.

"It's not your fault, baby. What triggered it?" Blaine closed his eyes, as anguish built up even more in him.

"It was when your friends were offering to protect you, and it suddenly slotted into my brain that more people could get hurt because of me. I figured that if I wasn't in your life, then they wouldn't get you. I'm such an idiot." He said bitterly.

"You're not an idiot Blaine. You're noble and kind, and I'm so glad you're in my life." At his words, Blaine hugged himself tighter to Kurt, their bodies becoming more and more moulded together.

"And I love you so, so much." Kurt added, whispering into Blaine's hair. Blaine couldn't stop the tears, as they began to create a haziness around his vision. Slowly, he lifted his head off Kurt's chest, and looked directly at him. He raised his hand and cupped his cheek.

"I love you so much more." He replied. Searching Kurt's eyes as he smiled a watery smile, he reached up and kissed him fully on the lips. This time, they weren't interrupted by an awkward fall. At first, their lips moved slowly together, as tears fell from both their eyes. The tears mixed together as they touched the other's cheeks, making it difficult to know whose was whose. However, the need to be closer heightened as the kiss deepened.

Their noses brushed against each other, as Blaine ran his hands up and down Kurt's sides, digging into them desperately. Kurt, just as desperate as Blaine, rubbed his hands over Blaine's back, stroking between his shoulder blades and moving to his lower back. Blaine's lips broke off Kurt's as he moved to cover his neck in smaller, desperate kisses. Kurt emitted a small moan, pulling Blaine closer to him as he tried to regain his breath. Blaine abandoned Kurt's neck and moved back to his lips. Death awaited them, they knew deep down. But at that moment, they just wanted to feel alive for one last time.

Kurt gently pulled away from Blaine, looking up intently at him. Blaine stopped kissing him, knowing they had too at some point. Dean and Nathan could return at any moment He rested his forehead against Kurt's, breathing ragged and their heartbeats thumping erratically.

"Whatever happens, we'll be together. Even they can't tear us apart. Whatever they force us to do, or however much it hurts, know that I love you. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, Blaine. They can't break us, no matter how much they try." Kurt said strongly. Blaine nodded against Kurt, loving his boyfriend even more.

"They can't touch us." He replied, remembering Prom. How long ago that felt. They looked at each other, before leaning in for one more kiss. This time it was sweet and heart-breaking - it could well be their last. Both realising this, tears fell more thickly, as they tried to make the moment last forever.