Get Up 10

Epilogue

Ambrosine
May 7

The sun beamed into my room. It was graduation day. I was officially going to be the first person in my family with a degree aside from Camila. I smiled hard. Nothing could ruined this day. Not even the absence of Saint who has been gone for weeks without a word being said. I desperately missed him and at first the pain of not knowing how someone could just abandon their family ached but I have to be strong for my girls.

I was hoping today he found some type of sympathy in his heart just to at least show up to see Logan and Nova but I was aiming too high. Bully has been speaking to him and passes on " I love you messages" verbally for him but it isn't the same. He told me that there may even be a chance he pops up today. I even had a gift for him because of how kind he's been to me over the past months despite him leaving. Before Bully ever started telling me minor information I thought he left because he didn't love us anymore. If he didn't love me in that way I wasn't going to change his mind or beg him to. I was content with being friends but my child needs her father.

Part of me also feared he was dead and they were hiding it but Trent assured he was ok. Jah, Trent and Dre likely are holding things from me as well but I no longer linger on to the thought of an explanation. Life must go on but he will forever be my first love and best friend.

I leaned over to turn on my nightstand light as Logan and Nova laid beside me still asleep. In a few days my beautiful baby girl will finally be one years old. A folded paper was laid on my nightstand neatly. I began to read.

Dear Ms. Angry Bird,

Firstly, I love you and I'm safe. I've never felt so good about myself because of another person aside from Nova. We've been through a lot. Hell and back to be exact but I'll let my feet burn one hundred times over and over again just to be beside you and my children. In fact, their burning now in a sense because I miss the hell out of you three but I know I'll make my way back to you soon. You're a beautiful human being. One of the most beautiful people I've ever met actually and nobody can top you. I will forever place you on a pedestal because you're a Queen - My Queen to be exact. I had to go because I got into some mix up. I guess you can say I should have listened to you. You won't be able to contact me as it's been the past few weeks until I'm sure everything has died down. I haven't contacted you or anyone in my family aside from Bully so don't think otherwise. I'll spare you the details until we face each other once again. Let this be a happy letter. Yes, you will miss me and I will miss you but it gives you a chance to grow completely now that I'm away. I know Jah and Nav will be there for you so don't hesitate to ask for anything, and I mean it baby. It's still your world!! I want you to continue to go to therapy, show high performance at your new job and stay clear of all niggas because I'm not pussy and you know not to play with me shawty! Lol, I miss the hell out of you and it hurts but don't let it bring you down. I'm not in jail but I can't be in New York right now. Keep this letter to yourself baby. I want you to stay in touch with Nova. Don't split my babies up! If Natalie act a fool you got the green light to check her but knowing you and Chasity asses y'all was already gonna be on that type of timing. Now for the most important part, my congratulations to my little Hunter baby! I am so proud of you. You are an amazing role model to our children and I'm blessed to say that my future wife was able to get that degree that I couldn't! I'm so so sorry I couldn't make it today but I hope this letter was delivered to you from me in time. (Don't go searching for the culprit either noisy!) I know you want answers but let me be the one to give them to you. Telling you in a letter just doesn't seem right - or possible and I couldn't tell you in person because time just wasn't on our side.

But here's the exciting part: Your gift is in your garage. You can't return it if you can't find me! Enjoy it babygirl you deserve the world but for now here's a car so you can get around it. (Check the glove department too!). I didn't forget about Lo turning the big one either. You can find her gifts in your closet. I hate that I'm missing the most important moments. Record everything if you can! I know lil butt will be walking soon if not already. I promise to give you the world A. I will never break that promise. I don't know when I will see you again but remember that I will always be yours. We've been through a lot these past months and I would do it all over again. Tell Logan and Nova that I love them and Dada will always be thinking of them. I'll see them soon. Whenever you're sad or miss me, go to my home—our home and lay in my bed. I want you just to pretend I'm next to you, I hope my lingering scent will calm you. This is just a minor setback. We've been knocked down nine times but now it's time to get up a tenth time independently in order to reunite, they'll never see it coming mamas. Sometimes you have to do things differently to win. I love u babygirl.

Yours Always,

Saint Josiah.

My tears filled the neatly written paper causing me to refold it as it once was. I placed it in a safe spot. I pulled my gift to him out the small bag. I felt like a fool to think he'd magically show up after two months. I could hold it in anymore. I cried and I cried hard as I stared down at a positive pregnancy test.

                                       The end.