Get Up 10

Chapter 85- Going Hard

Saint Josiah
That same night.

When you become a kingpin your whole life depends on it until you find someone else loyal and willing to take the bait. We all want a way in but, we also want a way out. I shook on it because of the love of money and power. At the time I was alone. My daughter was out of my life and I had just met Ambrosine. If I knew she would have became my lover and bestfriend a nigga might've never done what he did.

I hide a big part of that lifestyle from her.

The last time I cried is when my childhood friends got killed. I don't speak on it much. They left me alone in this cold world. I sat with my back against the kitchen island wishing I could unsee the shit I just witnessed. I wasn't no soft nigga unless it came to the ones I was most loyal to.

I felt weak weeping as I heard Ambrosine's footsteps travel closer and closer. I pulled myself together almost immediately.

" Baby where'd you go?"

She grabbed a broom and dustpan not even yelling at the shattered glass and began to mumble "what the hell" as she swept. She jumped a bit seeing me on the floor at the other side of the island with a wet face and mean mug.

" Saint? Baby why are you crying is everything ok?" She pouted wiping my tears. I knew my face was full of anger. I love her with all my heart and then some. I've never felt this way about anyone before.

" I'm fine. I think I'm going to head out."

" You're upset. Did I do something? I think you should come lay with me. Let's talk." She rubbed my arm.

" I just need to be alone" I shook my head.

" Saint you aren't going anywhere like this, let's go!" She pulled me up with two hands and led me back to my bedroom.

" Why you crying baby? What happened somebody got hurt?" She spoke softly holding my chin.

" It's nothing."

" You've been acting weird all day babe. Just let it out. Did you do something?" She faked a smile. I know she was probably thinking the worst. I couldn't cheat on her. I love her too much.
I couldn't stomach that shit and I needed to get away from her. It replayed in my head over and over.

" I'm good." I headed to the shower. She followed behind me with hopes of still getting answers.

" Seriously babe what's wrong you look like you saw a ghost. Let me hold you tonight atleast. Don't leave ok?"

" I'm good Audi. I'm not going anywhere"

She leaned her head against mine and said nothing. Placing two hands on her face we embraced one another in a kiss.

" I'm about to shower so shut the door behind you."

" Did I do something wrong?" Her curiosity was kind of cute.

" Not at all. I'll be in bed soon go lay down."

She sighed dragging her feet.

I ran the water and found myself breaking down. I didn't deserve her for the shit I did and here I am now, caught up. I didn't even want to share the same bed with her out of guilt. I pulled my self together to avoid any questioning for now. I had to be in the shower for a good hour because she was sound asleep when I came out.

I got dressed and crept out the house to get into my car.

" Fuck!" I yelled hitting the wheel and getting out. Now wasn't the time to run from her.

I crept back in the house and found her in bed still sound asleep as beautiful as ever. I held on her tight hoping she forgave me for what I was about to do. I hope she never finds out at all.