You Push Me, I Push Back

VII

Once Jack and I had finished our discussion about our plan to get Angel and Dean together - and me finishing my waffles and ice cream - we both went home. Actually, before doing that, we had a toast for good luck and hen went on our way. I wasn't excited to go home, I kind of wished that I had more time with Jack just so I didn't have to face my mum or Danny. Or Alex. I didn't want to see any of them.

I don't get why they don't understand how hard it is to know that after eighteen years of my life without any siblings, I'm having one. And I might not even be there because of college or for the reason that Angel and I were always having the idea to get an apartment together after high school. We've both got excepted into the same colleges. We have had this idea for ages.

I literally had about six jobs at some point and I got a lot of money, every piece of money goes into my bank account and doesn't come out. I've done that for five years. How? I don't know, I'm pretty sure every other teenager would have spent it all. My mum says that she would give me extra money if I really needed it. But by the way it's going, we don't need a lot of help. Angel has done the same jobs as me and puts it in her bank account, never to come out until needed. Also, her parents are rich and have already offered us 100,000 dollars. They like me a lot, they've always said they see me as their own daughter because of how many times I've been around there.

So yeah, we've got it sorted out. And maybe there is another reason why I don't want a baby brother or Alex. But I don't want to mess up my plans for the future just for a baby that isn't born yet. Although, if we did get an apartment together, I would be seeing a lot more of Dean. As long as I don't hear them f*cking, I'm fine. We should get sound proof walls.

Anyway, I make it to my house in half an hour, I lean my bike on the side of the house before putting my bag higher up my shoulder and walking towards the entrance. I slowly go up the wooden steps of the outside wooden surface that surrounds the front of the house. I make my way to the door and slowly turn the knob, glad that it's open. I open it quickly because otherwise it would have made a squeaky mess. I close the door quickly as well but quietly.

I hear mumbling in the room next to me, I silently peak through to see my mum and Danny sitting with each other but Danny had his head to her stomach and they were in a fit of giggles. I walk away and make my way to the kitchen to make myself a quick glass of water. When I go in there and get a glass I notice a picture on the island, an ultrasound picture. That was my baby brother. I look away and quickly make myself a drink when tears start to fprm in my eyes.

I don't know why I'm crying, it just feels like everything is going to fall apart, no one notices, everyone thinks it is fine, but it isn't. I'm on the edge of losing my humanity and no one notices it. Maybe, I'm just reacting like this because of the pressure of school and the fact that I can't seem to except the fact that I am going to have a baby brother. Or that Alex is now apart of my personal life. My grades are slipping for some reason, I can't seem to focus anymore and I'd usually find it to do with Angel and Dean, but I can't put any blame on them.

I run up stairs as quickly as I can, not even caring if it alerts everyone in the house. I probably have an ugly crying face, but my face isn't moving only the tears. I bump into someone when I make a turn at the top of the stairs. I glance at Alex before silently walking around him and to my room. I swear he had a look of concern when I saw him. I slam my door shut and place my drinks on the desk and my bag on my desk chair. Then I lay myself on the bed and cry into my pillow. I must sound like such a baby, but I know no one will come in to see if I was alright. They knew that it would be death if they did.

But they didn't know that all I need right now, was someone to hug me and an actual family that isn't broken. I just needed someone to care and love me, understand me for my reasons for being broken. Why am I crying over these things? Why am I? I shouldn't be. Should I? They're just stupid things to cry about, but why does my heart ache when I think about them.

I shouldn't be crying about these things, should I? That's what everyone should think if they knew, but maybe I am allowed to cry about these things. If it brings pain to my heart, then surely I'm allowed to cry about them. Or maybe not. Maybe I'm just being a worthless teenager that's crying over everything.

Maybe I see things differently from other people.

Maybe it's who I am.

But why? Why am I the chosen teenager to be worthless? Am I worthless? Am I overreacting? I hope Alex doesn't tell the school about me crying over something stupid. If he doesn't then that's not an Alex thing to do. He told lies all the time amd it got a lot of people in trouble. But this wasn't a lie. So was he going to tell people? Was I going to be known as the girl who cries over stupid things? Or was Alex actually going to be nice and not saying anything?

Because maybe if he did tell, maybe it would be the truth, and not a lie. Maybe I am the girl who cries over stupid things and maybe I am overreacting.

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A/N ~ what do you think of this chapter? I did write it quickly so tell my if there are any misspellings.

Also, what do you think Jack's and Kelly's ideas are? Give me some ideas of what you think in the comments section down below.