Why the Change of Mind (More a Change of Heart)

Alone in the Dark

The night before Bellamy is supposed to leave for Skaikru, something...happens.

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The next few hours were a blur of packing and planning, during which Clarke hardly got a moment to speak to Bellamy even though she had a million things to tell him. The plan of how they'd get to Abby and convince her to come to Floukru still seemed wobbly at best, but they didn't have the time or resources to do anything else since Clarke wasn't allowed to join.

Through it all, Clarke's neck burned, but she decided not to mention it.

When everything was ready and they'd eaten a large dinner, Luna sent them off to bed. Clarke was too jittery to feel tired, but she obeyed, changing into some clothes Raven gave to her and tucking into her temporary bed.

Bellamy arrived a few minutes later, sliding under his own blanket to face her but not drawing closer. He watched her like he wanted to say something but didn't know how, or if he should; she knew her face reflected the same thing.

After a few minutes of just watching each other in the dark, Clarke broke the silence by sliding forward onto Bellamy's cot and tucking herself under his waiting arm.

"I guess even Floukru's not safe from the chip," she whispered. She meant it as an explanation for cuddling up to him again, but it sounded more like a confession.

"We'll get it out. You'll be safe then." He didn't sound confident, exactly, but more determined—like even if it was impossible, he'd still do it. It made Clarke's heart do strange things.

Which wasn't very convenient, considering they were close enough that he could probably feel a change in heartbeat, so she tried to change the subject to something that made her think less about how his hand was splayed perfectly across her shoulder blades, the warmth of it seeping through her shirt. "What are you going to do with the prize money?"

A beat. "What?"

"The prize money. I mean, you might be a criminal, but I'm sure if I put in a good word she'll still make sure you and Miller get whatever amount she offered." It was a rather optimistic outlook on the time ahead, more optimistic than she truly was, but she wanted to keep it light and not worry him more than she already had.

"It's...." He paused for far too long, like he was debating what to say. "I'm not taking the prize."

Clarke nearly sat straight up. "What? Why not?"

"How could I?" He shifted to look at her face, and despite the darkness of the room she could still see the softness and confusion in his eyes. "You can't really think you're just a trade for some prize to me at this point, can you?"

She blinked, taken aback. "Of course not. But it doesn't mean you can't get the prize anyway, right?"

He shook his head. "I couldn't do that. It wouldn't be right."

"Why the hell not? You brought me here – in above and beyond circumstances, I might add – and you're going to reunite me with my mom. You deserve something good."

At that, he lowered his gaze, like he couldn't bear to look at her, and Clarke's heart broke a little.

"Hey, look at me." She lifted his chin to encourage him, and finally he met her gaze again. "None of that with me. You deserve good things, Bellamy. You do. Fuck what you were like or what your intentions were at the start. You don't have to suffer for what you used to be. You just have to grow, and you have."