Why the Change of Mind (More a Change of Heart)

Together Again

Bellamy does what we all expect him to do when Clarke's missing--he goes after her.

--

The world was quiet and cold when Bellamy opened his eyes. Quiet because everyone was still asleep - it was clearly the middle of the night - and cold because Clarke Griffin was no longer tucked in his arms.

He forced down a tug of disappointment and sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and letting them adjust to the darkness all around him. There wasn't a sign of Clarke, which probably meant she'd gone out to the deck to clear her head. He certainly couldn't blame her; she was being left in an unfamiliar place while he and Raven convinced her long-lost mother to come and help her to get rid of a mind-controlling chip made by a hundred-year-old madwoman. He'd be more worried if she didn't want a few moments alone.

Still, it would probably be good to check on her; he was almost positive the chip wasn't strong enough nor nimble enough to lure Clarke away without waking him, and if something happened surely she would've come to him, or at least yelled, but-he worried. He couldn't help it.

The deck was cold but peaceful, with moonlight reflecting off the water and no sound save for the gentle rock of waves. But it was also empty, and he frowned. Had Clarke gone to the med bay instead, or some dark corner inside? Maybe she was avoiding him. She'd seemed less upset about him leaving when they went to bed, but maybe that was just a front to make him not feel so bad.

And he did feel bad, for snapping at least, though he couldn't regret making her back down. There was no way he could let her risk her life on a trip he could do himself; he'd seen her in danger far too often already.

It made him hesitate, wondering if she would be unhappy to see him looking for her, but he made his way to the med bay anyway, whispering her name as he went. Like the deck, it was dimly lit and cold and definitely empty; a seed of worry rooted itself in his chest, but he tried to tamp it down. Floukru had plenty of other nooks and crannies she could be in; this didn't mean anything.

As he turned to keep looking, though, his gaze caught on the bed Clarke had rested in less than a day before. The blanket she'd slept on was still rumpled; he remembered her laying there, eyed squeezed shut and clinging to his hand like he was the only thing holding her together. He also remembered her fingers stroking his hair soothingly, the salty taste of sweat on her skin when he kissed her forehead, the fire in her eyes when she insisted he was worth something-something to her, even.

Most of all, he remembered the way she softened under his touch when he drew her close, the open expression that made him believe in that moment she wanted to kiss him, too. He could feel his heart tripping over itself just thinking about it, the idea that if the chip hadn't interfered, he could've actually closed that gap, pressed his mouth solidly against hers like he'd wanted to for longer than he'd admit, maybe even gathered the courage to tell her if it meant he could stay with her even a few more days, he'd do anything-

He shook his head forcefully. Not the time, Blake.

As the fantasy slipped away and worry replaced it once more, he went for the last logical place he could think of-the supply room where they'd kept their bags for the trip. Maybe she'd needed something to do and was going over the items, or just wanted a quiet, empty space.

Someone had lit a candle in the usually dark room, which made Bellamy's heart lift a little with hope, but he quickly realized if Clarke had been here, she wasn't anymore. The room was barren of anything except the fishing gear on the wall and the packs on the table they'd set up earlier-

Wait. Not packs-pack. He knew he'd left his beside Raven's just hours before, but it wasn't on the table anymore. He searched the room to be sure, and sure enough, it was gone, along with his jacket.