Angel on Earth

Chapter 1

POV Leo

It's been seven months since he passed away. Nothing has been the same to be honest. He was our leader and from one day to another... he was gone. The worst part is that I didn't even get a chance to apologize to him.

                 *******

I was laying on my bed alone thinking about today. This particular day of the month which makes me feel sad and angry at the same time. I was to deep in my thoughts when suddenly the door flew open interrupting my memories.

"It's that day of the month, Leo hyung."

"I'm not feeling well, Ravi. You might just go with the others."

"You say that every month, hyung."

"That's because I feel unwell every month." I answered.

"You always feel unwell on this exact day of the month."

"It happens." I answered shortly.

"Look, I get it. It's hard, but it's hard for everyone else too. You did fight with him that exact day, but we all did. It's not your fault."

"I know it's not my fault, Ravi." I answered looking at him. "I just screamed at him at the top of my lungs and he ran away from us all... and I didn't do anything to stop him. I just watch him run while crying because of my childish behavior that day and he just got into an accident."

"Yeah... I get it. You don't have to be so sarcastic." He said irritated. "It does sound bad, but as you said yourself it was an accident and he would never blame you. He's in heaven now. You know he's..."

"Don't tell me that he's in a better place." I interrupted him.

"But he is in a better place."

"Everybody says that, but nobody knows the truth."

"If everyone says the same as I say, then it must be true."

"He should have survived. We didn't even get to see him alive at the hospital." I said with tears in my eyes. "I never screamed at him and that day I did. I should have not make a fuss. I was mad before I saw him... and I exploded my anger at him. He wasn't even the one I was angry at. He was doing his job... as a leader. Our leader. And I just didn't like it."

"We get it! We all get it, you were mad about something way out of the topic, but what we don't get is why you don't understand that we all felt guilty. We all did and we all said bad things to our beloved Cha Hakyeon at that time, but we at least apologized to him."

"You mean that if you apologize to his grave he forgave you?" I asked starting to feel angry. "You can't even hear his voice! You don't even have the right to think that he forgave you!"

"He can hear us. Angels do hear us."

"Have you even met one to be so sure about that?" I asked. "Or is this about those things that everyone says that is not even proven to be real?"

"You're angry. I understand that, but it's been seven months now. Today officially it's been seven months since he died. You need to let it go for once." He stayed silence for a moment. "And understand that..."

"That what?" I interrupted.

"That he's not coming back." He said, sadness evident in his voice. "And no matter how much we want him to come back, he will not. He's gone, hyung. He's gone and you cannot keep acting like this... like you're dying yourself."

"Trust me. I'm fine."

"Leo hyung, you have to accept it... you're in some kind of depression. You were diagnosed by a doctor. Let's do something to distract you." Ravi suggested calmly. "Let's just go and get some flowers for him. We'll talk to him. If you believe enough, I know he can hear us somewhere in heaven."

"Just... leave me alone." I said laying down once again on my bed.

"Fine..." Ravi whispered and left closing the door.

                 *******

When all the members left the dorm, I was just watching that empty space next to my bed. We used to share the same room and I could have never felt a room so cold after he died.

Hyuk tried to cheer me up by moving from his shared room with Hongbin to mine by surprise, but it didn't make me happy. I actually cried, screamed at him, and kicked him out. I locked my door and didn't eat or got out of my room for three weeks after that. My daily routine was crying from the moment I woke up until I felt asleep once again. Hyuk's actions just made me realized that Hakyeon was actually not here anymore. That our leader was gone forever and not on vacation or anything related to it.

After those three weeks, I stayed inside my room. Our manager found the spare key to my room and tried to get me to do something, but I still didn't eat or got out of my bed for four more weeks; except when Ken and Ravi made me eat by force. Even our manager came to help with my breakdown, but I guess nothing worked out.

Because of me VIXX has not made a comeback since Hakyeon died and I'm sure we will never do. "The 5 members of VIXX", I hate how that phrase sounds. I've heard that sentence on the news and I can't even believe that it is used anywhere. VIXX is a 6 member group... it will never be VIXX if there's someone missing and in fact we do miss someone.

Since Hakyeon's death, Ravi has gone solo for a while, Hongbin, Hyuk, and Ken are concentrated on their acting careers, and I've been... technically not doing anything at all for the last seven months.

The only new thing about me is that a doctor came to check me months ago and said that I needed help. Something about depression... I don't remember and to be honest I didn't care to about it.

After observing Hakyeon's empty side of the room, I decided to walk outside to clear my mind. With my face covered and my phone and wallet on my hoodie's pockets, I went outside to think.

It's been a while since I've got out of the dorm. I remember that one time after 5 months in my room, Hongbin got me outside, but he got in trouble because he dragged me out knowing that I didn't have any pants on. Now, Starlights and other people might have a nice picture of me with no pants that was late deleted by Jellyfish Entertainment. Fans are faster than we idols think, so now it's normal for Starlight to talk about "the time Leo got dragged out of his dorm without pants". Obviously, there's also the "thank you" notes and messages that Hongbin received for dragging me outside. Those pictures also concerned a lot of netizens because of my depressing state. The fans noticed that I lost weight and that I was not in my best shape, both physically and emotionally. Our company did have to work on an answer as fast as they could. I still can't believe how one single picture made to many scandals. I still blame Hongbin for that one.

While walking I noticed that I'm the only person in that area. There's no one around which makes me believe that I either have luck or maybe this is too weird considering I'm close to a park. No matter the reason, I'll just keep myself calm and keep walking around until my mind is in peace.

As I was walking, I felt like someone bumped my shoulder, but when I turned around, there was no one there. As I looked down, I found a colorful sheet of paper that said "Discover your future, destiny, or miracle with a talk". I took it and put it on my pocket before continuing to walk.