Doki Doki Literature Club Oneshots - Genderbent Ver.

Sad Love, One Love ((Satsuke x Depressed Reader))

TRIGGER WARNING
I most likely am gonna continue this, and ask people who've read my previous books that with topics like this, I don't sugar coat things. So if depression/suicide or therapists make you have a trigger reaction, please do not read this oneshot, thank you!

Recently, I've met someone.

Oh?

They seemed nice, but ended being just like me. What was weird, it happens at a fast rate.

Do you know where they are? Maybe I could find them.

......I don't think you understand what happened.

What happened?

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I woke up in my room, around 9. Like any normal human being, I went to school. School as boring, the halls were the same, the door was the same, the desk. Nothing changed, and sure enough, the only thing that really changes school by school is the rules. But kids, teens, they don't care about rules. They like how things look, so if everything looked the same, there's no joy in being there.

That's just from what I think. The walls are usually a black and grey, the teacher would call your name despite you not raising your hand (seriously, why do they do that?), and asking a question you weren't prepared for. Then, when you get the answer wrong, you get laughed at or judged.

But it's not like I don't care. They're all shadows. Pieces of the puzzle that the man himself had made to keep them contained. That man was Death himself. Life makes everything seem a-okay, but really, it's only leading you to complete your puzzle....and when that puzzle is completed....I'm sure you know what happens. Life is a game.

End of school, I got up to walk with feet of hollow feelings. The walls feel like they could clamp down on me, like a the classic torture walls that slowly get closer to your demise. I might not come to school tomorrow, not while I'm feeling like this. The others have no faces, and the teacher has no voice. It's all an empty space that I'm crawling through, yah know, to feel like I'm a human. But I don't feel like that anymore.

Caught up in my thoughts, a voice dragged me back to reality. "Hey, earth to Y/N!" Satsuke said to me, as I slowly look at him. "Have you been taking your medicine?" He asked.

You mean the happy pills(anti-depressants) the doctors give to you saying 'it would get better' when indeed it gets worse. You have a hope of getting better, but when it doesn't work, it gets worse. The pill hugs you, but only for a second. Only for a second... "yes." I reply to him.

"Ah good!" He praises, "don't go off of your medicine! It could end really badly!" He says, as he shakes his head no and smiled. I stared at him, while he's not exactly cheering me up, I appreciate the thought. I felt like there was some hypocrisy in those words but I decided to ignore it.

"Yah, yah, so bubblegum, I'm going home. See yah." I say as I turn, only to have him grab my shoulder.

"You should come visit the club! I'm sure you'd like everyone there! We need more members." He explains, I turn just to listen to him. However, I most likely won't join it.

"Oh yah, what club is that?" I ask, only because of the fact that maybe for future references, like if I were to bring him something, I could do so.

"A literature club! I know it's a little boring but it's not at all!" He exclaimed, looking excited. Now that I think about it, the club must be quiet for a literature club. It would give me time to think about my thoughts...but then again, that could make me all the more worse. I have to speak to Mrs. Kari(your therapist) about this decision...although, I don't think I wanna visit her this week...I might skip out on it, I hope she forgives me.

"I'll visit it for a short while, sure" I agree as he dragged me down the wretches halls. I swear these halls are a scary place, as the only sounds I hear are the feet of him and I rushing down the halls. The tip and tapping, the screech and scratching, the eyes and talking, the bags and writing, the crying voices of the bored sitting at desks....I'm getting off track here. What was I doing again?

"Hey! Earth to Y/N!" Satsuke says to me, as I focus back on him. Oh right, I was heading to the literature club.

"Are we there yet?"I ask him, and he slowly replies as if I was mentally slow.

"We. Have. Been. Standing. Here. For. The. Last. Two. minutes." He says, his slow talking annoyed me. Also, two minutes? It seemed like 20 seconds

"I'm sorry that I space out now and then."I say annoyed, he chuckled and opened the door. I seen 3 other males besides us, all different heights, different hair color, and all different...auras...huh.

"I told you they'd come! Meet Y/N! He said he wanted to see the club, not sure if he'd join though." Satsuke said. Odd, normally he'd make a decision for me before I even have a say. I thought he'd just tell them I'm joining..."Y/N! Meet the others!" He introduces.

One by one the others come to introduce themselves, but my ears block out the voices of the damned. They don't feel right to me, I want nothing to do with them. I don't trust them or this new environment. Their auras are all different, that's what's uncomfortable to me. Satsuke is the only person with an aura like mine. I feel comfortable with him.

Maybe it's because we're childhood friends but we're so vastly different, he's more brighter then I am. More bubbly...besides his hair color, I call him bubblegum for that reason. And I'm...I dunno what I am. So how are we so different but our aura is almost identical? I'll have to watch out for this, it's scaring me. It's freaking me out.

I don't have a happy please, every place is a scary place. Even in the depths of my mind I'm not safe. I need help, I'm going somewhere I don't wanna go, I need help. Maybe I should go to Mrs. Kari, she's the only one who can save me. I don't feel safe, I feel tired. I'm tired. I—

"Y/N! Are you there?"