Craving You- Rikara

Part Five

"How was it" asked Anika, her arms crossed as Gauri walked through the door

Gauri nodded "Good, I think"

Anika shook her head "I dont think you should have gone in the first place in all honesty, when your mother died, he went away on a business trip, yet some woman touches him and he freaks out and you accompany him to a counselling session"

Gauri shook her head "He isnt good with dealing with heavy emotions, thats why he"

Anika let out a strangled cry of frustration "For how long will you continue to make excuses for him Gauri"

"Its hard for him okay" Gauri crossed her arms as she looked down at the ground

"Oh yeah, and how is it so hard for him"

"Because he got abused when he was younger okay, he was taken advantage of and because his family were disgusted in him, they disowned him when he was to young to understand, he is my husband and I love him and I will always stand by him, he tries a lot and that is enough for me, he has a long way to go but that doesnt mean I just give up, what message would I be sending if I just gave up on him like everyone else had" Gauri shouted in pure exasperation

Anika's face dropped "Gauri, I didnt know, im so sorry"

"I love him" she sobbed "So much it hurts, and I cant leave him when he needs me, yes he has problems, but dont we all, and I just have to believe he loves me, but im scared, because I am all he has ever known, maybe thats why he stays, maybe he will find someone else and he will love them, but I need him too" she covered her face with her hands

Anika ran over and held her in her arms "Shhh its okay Gauri, im sure he loves you too, go home Gauri, you both should be together hmm" she cupped her cheeks pressing a kiss to her forehead, guilt trickling through her body at her recent reactions

XXX

Omkara looked up as Gauri walked into the living room, putting her keys on the table. "You came back" he stood up slowly, the dark bags under his eyes very visible, she knew he hadnt slept, just like she hadn't "I didnt think you would come back"

Gauri stepped forward slightly "Ill always come back"

Omkara swallowed the lump in his throat, he scratched the back of his neck "Did you leave because I won't have sex with you, because we can if it will make you stay"

Gauri felt her heart break in that moment "No, of course not, I left to clear my head, but I won't do that again" she reached out to take his hand but he flinched, she was quick to pull her hand back, of course she understood but she felt like she was ten places back again. She cleared her throat, "I guess, its back to our old routine then"

Omkara looked up at her, holding his hand out for her to take

She shook her head "Its okay Omkara, I dont want to force you to do something you're not comfortable with, ill sleep on the sofa tonight"

"If thats what you want" he replied, deflated, he was hoping she would sleep with him, but he couldnt force her to.
He walked closer to her, he knew Gauri, she would never hurt him, so he had no idea why he had flinched at the thought of her touch when it was what he had wanted for so long, he stepped forward again, now his shoulder right by hers

Gauri turned her head to the left and looked up at him. "Is there something you want to say Omkara" she took a deep breath in, allowing his familar scent to wash over her.

"You dance with others right" his voice was a low baritone

Her brows furrowed and she nodded

"Well, would you dance with me"

"Are you sure"

He took her hand in his and pulled her closer, wrapping both arms around her waist, she led her cheek on his chest and closed her eyes. It didnt seem to matter that there was no music as she raised her hands and rested them under his arms on his back. It didnt seem to matter that they weren't dancing, just swaying and holding eachother close. Because, nothing seemed to matter when they were in eachothers arms

"I really dont know what i'd do if I didnt have you" whispered Gauri into his chest,

Omkara pulled back, looking down at her. There was still so much to explore with her and so much to explore about her, he would never understand why she stayed, maybe it was just the contract. He just had to ask, "If there was no contract, would you still stay"

"Would you want me to"

He didnt want to make her feel she had to stay, but god he wanted her to.

"Omkara, please, just tell me what you want" her eyes burnt with unshed tears causing him to pull back quickly

"Did I hurt you, im so sorry"

"What, no" she went to pull him back but he shook his head

"I always upsett you, im not good enough for you, you deserve better" his long black hair wavered around his shoulders as he shook his head in pure disgust

"No please, im sad because I want you to want me to stay"

"Ask you to stay in this hell hole with me, never, what I want doesnt matter" his voice returned to that firm tone that sent out the message no more arguments would be had, but then again when was Gauri ever one to listen

"It matters to me" she held his hand and kissed his palm "Please dont push me away"

Omkara shuddered, closing his eyes tightly as she wrapped her arms around his waist again "I love you Omkara, I want to stay, please let me stay" she looked up painfully at the tears rolling down his face "Please dont cry" she begged

"Im a monster" he uttered, like it was the biggest confession of his life "For keeping you here when you deserve better, I have to let you go"

Gauri shook her head "But, I dont want to go"

"Its not your job to look after me, you deserve love"

"But you love me, right, you love me dont you Omkara, you dont have to say it but I know you do" her resolve weakening when he didnt reply

"You are the only good in my life, no one loves more than a broken man" Omkara opened his eyes as he felt her let go of him, she sat on the sofa, her head in her hands as she sobbed

"Gauri, why are you crying, please dont cry"

She looked up "Can I kiss you Omkara"

"Kiss me" he asked, he felt his heart race. He never expected Gauri to want to kiss him, he nodded

Gauri stood up on the sofa, pulling him closer she pressed her lips to his, she brought his hands to her waist and gripped the back of his neck "I knew you loved me too" she whispered against his lips

Omkara took a heavy breath "To"?

She smiled softly "I love you, I was crying because I was happy"