Craving You- Rikara

Part Twelve

"Omkara, im home" Gauri called "Omkara" she stopped, her stomach churning. Something was wrong, Omkara always came to see her when she came home, maybe he had gone to work? She rounded the corner, her hand resting on her chest, she laughed quietly at her silly fear. There he was, sleeping, she had worried for nothing. She stepped forward, kissing him on the cheek, ruffling his hair as she passed him

He startled awake quickly, his eyes dark with concern, he patted his chest, wiping the sweat of his brow with the back of his hand "Gauri, you're here, how did the meeting go" he asked, swallowing thickly

"Yeah, went good, he won't be partaking in the deal with us anymore, are you okay, did you have a nightmare" she undid the lid of her bottle, taking a sip as she eyed him curiously

He looked up, shaking his head "No, a dream, I" he looked down at his ring, exhaling in relief when he saw he still had it on

"You want to talk about it" she asked, sitting next to him

He frowned "We had an argument when you got home, I showed you my scars"

"The ones on your back" she queried, rubbing his arm, she was yet to see those scars, but she wasn't going to push him to show her

He nodded "Yeah, then you asked me to tell you that I loved you"

Her heart dropped, her face now slightly paler "Did you"

"I did, then we went to bed, and we, well we tried to you know and I couldnt, but then we did"

There was something beautiful about the fact that although Omkara was not ready to make love to her, he still dreamed about it

"Then, I left you a note and my ring, told you that you needed strength to read it, then I woke up"

"You're not uh, not thinking of leaving me are you" she felt weak for even asking, but everyday was a new day and things could change in moments, she knew that

He bit into his cheek, he really had no idea what to reply. He didnt want to leave her, but he was so sure she could do better, that sometimes he wished he wasnt so selfish. He didnt answer for a while, making her stand up, walking towards the bedroom, she couldn't focus on her fears right now, her eyes burnt with unshed tears at just the thought of him leaving her, he watched as she walked away, he had no idea why he had found it so hard to express how he felt. Throwing his head back he sighed heavily, there he went again, breaking her heart

XXX

Omkara watched as Gauri packed herself some lunch, she made sure to look down as she passed him "When will you be back" he questioned

"I have to practice, then the competition is tonight, so, I have no idea, I may just stay at Anika's rather than disturb you by coming back late"

"Okay, have fun"

"Thanks" she walked out of the door, sitting in her car, she waited a while before driving away. She knew she should be used to him shutting down, but it seemed they had come so far that she just wasnt expecting it anymore

Omkara watched from the window as she started the car and drove off, he really could not put his finger on what was bothering him. Was it that he wrote a letter in his dream? That they slept together? Or that walking away from her still seemed like an option?

XXX

Gauri walked toward the stage, her heart racing as she eyed the crowd. It was a big turnout, but the one man she wanted to be there had not turned up. She closed her eyes as the music started to play, and she allowed herself to lose herself in the music

All her pent up frustration coming out at once, then she was spinning around, unable to focus on anything other than Omkara's words, or lack of words she thought

The dance came to a stop, she curtsied, breathless, then looked up. No, he couldn't be here, he never came, without sparing a thought she stepped off stage, climbing down the stairwell, then she was running toward him as he stood up. She halted before him "You came" she whispered. She stood up on her tiptoes, her arms tight around his waist

The crowd around them began to ooh and aah, then they clapped, Gauri pulled away, her cheeks a dark red

"You were amazing, im so proud of you" his voice was gruff, like he had been shouting for hours

"Really" she smiled, making him smile to

Her smile really could light up any room

"Come with me, I need to talk to you" he held her hand, pulling her outside

XXX

"Im leaving" He spoke, his face void of any emotion

"What do you mean you're leaving" she wanted so badly for this to just be a joke

"My Nani is ill, you know she's one of the only family members I have left, I have to go and see her"

She nodded solemnly, was Omkara going to ask her to come with? Maybe she should offer it herself "How long will you be gone for" her nails dug into her hands to the point she could feel blood

"Im not sure Gauri, until she gets better"

That could be weeks, months, maybe even over a year. Of course she understood that he wanted to be with his Nani, but the fact that he had come to her dance and then told her so easily that he was leaving seemed nothing short of a final goodbye. She couldn't help but think maybe she had pushed him to far, asked for to much or maybe she had neglected him, or maybe, his dream had showed him that he just didn't love her anymore "Well maybe I could come with you and"

"No"

"No" she repeated

"You need to stay here, do your dancing and live your life, maybe the space would do us good" he suggested

She was itching to touch him, she stepped forward but he raised his hand, stopping her from coming any closer

Gauri drew back, "So this is goodbye then" she no longer cared about the tears that she shed

"Yeah, it is"

"I love you, can you say it back and mean it, just once, just for now" Gauri raised her hands, wiping away her tears

"I think its best I dont"

She couldnt control the sob that rose from her chest, rattling her whole body "You'll come home right Omkara, you'll come home to me" she whispered

He gulped, squeezing her hand "Take care of yourself Gauri". He went to walk away when he heard her speak, the last time he would ever hear her voice again

"Dont forget me, please" she begged

"Never" then he was gone

I know you guys are probably super mad, but in all honesty I felt this chapter was necessary and if you read it carefully, you may understand. Fighting your demons take a long time, it wont just be done with so quickly, they have a lot to get through and they must also learn their own worth. From personal experience I know distance only makes the heart grow fonder to get the ending I want, this must be a journey, because thats the most important thing about life, the journey and not the destination.