Mixed Emotions ((A Sharrett fanfiction)) By:CringyCrankiplier

I Can't Do This

Note: this chapter will have some more intense themes so if you don't want to read more mature themes than I suggest you skip to the next chapter. But you also may miss out on a part of the story later

We get to Garrett's house and he pulls out his laptop and starts to edit the video. The entire time he was asking me questions on how to edit it and we were eating the entire time. I pulled out my diary and started to write another entry. I have been writing entries for a while now. Every night I do, I don't look back at them though, I tell myself I will but I don't. I leave my notebook on the couch as I head into the bathroom. I do my business and then when I step out I see Garrett standing next to the couch with his head in his hands. Next to him....is my notebook. I know what is about to go down right now so I just roll with it and ask,
"Garrett are you ok?" He instantly looks at me with confusion. He grabs the book and holds it up. "SHANE IS THIS REAL?!" Garrett yells into my face. I look to the ground and almost start crying cause of the intensity and then a few tears run down my face as I nod my head up and down. I had written many passages about how much I dreamt of Garrett. I wrote about my fantasy with him. But most of all, how much I was sorry for ever not listen to him or take something not as serious as it should have been. It took up lots of pages and he read them all.
"Shane.....I can't do this." Garrett says as he sits down and puts his hands together.
"....why?" I ask with hesitation.
"You don't know how long it took me to get over you after we broke up. I had told you that I would be fine being your friend but I had secretly wanted you no matter how much I denied it. I was up for hours thinking of you and crying because I had lost you. I had fantasized about you and me and then after that, I started getting off to the thought of you. It wasn't until the date with Alex that I had gotten over you. That wasn't that long ago either. And after all of that suffering, you come here with your thoughts about me that I had wanted you to say for years. But you never confessed. I can't go through this again Shane." Garrett explains as I feel like an absolute jerk.
"We could have gone somewhere Shane, but you fucked that up," Garrett says.
"Garrett, I didn't know how bad of a jerk I was to you, I have learned from my mistakes. Please, Garrett, I want you so badly. I won't screw this up again." I said as I start getting a call.
"Set up a date and show me you care, then maybe I will." He says as he leaves the room to let me answer my phone. And so I press answer and then my heart was beating faster than ever.
"Hey, Shane it is Ryland. I know you may not want to talk but I have to talk to you, please." I couldn't speak. I didn't know what to expect but because I didn't want to be mean I let him talk.
"Ok, talk then," I answer while leaning against the wall. Then the next thing he said blew my mind away...