Smile for Me, Won't You?

June Mediocracy

We're back to the way before any of this ever happened. I'm not sure if it's a good things or a bad thing yet... and I don't think I'll be finding out any time soon. It's back to us responding to each other more than five hours apart, it's back to us almost forgetting each other in our real lives, it's back to us pretending we're apart. We've done this for ages, I guess it was foolish of me to think something would change. I thought that after this happened.. that we would be different. That we would be closer, and that just maybe you'd remember to text me back. I know it's ridiculous that I'm the one saying this, because before I was the one not responding to you. I was the one pretending you didn't exist and that we weren't anything. I can't pretend like that anymore, and I know you can't either. We have to stop hiding... and running away from our commitment. Sometimes I think God put us together because we were so similar. We both decided to run away with our problems instead of facing them... and our problem was each other.
I don't know what to call us anymore. My friends call us a couple, and I guess yours do to. But I guess that doesn't matter. It's what we consider ourselves, not what they think we are. But maybe it's easier for us just to go with the label they give us, at least to me it seems like the easy way out. I'm not looking for an easy way out... but you are. You don't have to lie to me anymore, we've been together so long that I can tell when you're lying. Sometimes I wish I couldn't tell, because all you tell me now are lies. I wonder if you know that I know... or if you know I can see through them but you stopped caring...
Either way, there's no us anymore... there's really have been an us. It's always been "them" or "those two"... but maybe it's better that way. Maybe it's better never to have an us so that when there's no more "them" it'll be easier to forget. And maybe, just maybe, the pain won't hurt as much.